Good People / Bad People

After some thought, I decided to make this more of a diary. I've had some interesting experiences I want to share. For example, I went out last night (8-19-2005) and to visit "Bix," a great restaurant near North Beach in San Francisco. (And beautiful, too! Click this link!) Mom's visiting and I spent so much time with her, that I wanted to just plain hang out.

Well, the real story is that I invited Mom to see this show that's a tribute to The Rat Pack, but she didn't want to go, sadly.

Anyway, I went there and just wanted to listen to this jazz band. But as I stood there, a very attractive white woman kept trying to get my attention. Eventually, she just plain old said "Nice band, huh?" So, I walked over to talk to her -- not much of a trip; about six feet in distance.

I had noticed she was with someone, so I really didn't expect anything. The three of us - her name's Rachel and her boyfriend's name is Alex -- had a series of great talks. They're both British, but met here via family members. But there was a woman who would walk over periodically. Her name was Debbie. Now, I thought Debbie was rather attractive, but I was just feeling out the entire situation. Debbie spent a lot of energy talking to Rachel's boyfriend and so much so that -- considering her body language -- I thought she was trying to pick up on him. I even caught her taking a look at me, then rolled her eyes up when I looked at her.

My feeling about Debbie was that she was "hunting" and for white guys. My beef is that some people stupidly judge others by race and based on that determine who's attractive. For example, some African American women tell me I look a bit like Tae Diggs -- moreover, some white and Asian women say that, too.

In my life I've noticed that the more a woman's used to dating black men, the more she makes such comparisons. It's a good gauge.

After I decided to ignore her, Debbie manuevered over next to me. We eventually talked. Debbie's new to the Bay Area, and from Nerw York City. She works for Wells. It turns out that we both know two friends of mine: Frank and Roberta. They've had an on again, off again relationship. So that revalation launched a new conversation. But right in the middle of it, she just turned and started talking to these two white guys standing about six feet away. Frankly, I thought the guys were gay.

I thought Debbie's act was terribly rude, and something only done because she's not interested in me because I'm black. That's not an excusable reason for that. My friend Beth, for example, has a great way of making you feel important, even if she's interested in someone else. A good heart, she has. In that context, Debbie's behavior just plain got me. We were having a great conversation and knew the same people. Then "poof."

Fortunately, Rachel and Alex invited me to join them at a table for dinner. On the way, I said to Debbie -- in front of the two guys -- that she was totally rude. No -- I didn't yell. I just said it very plainly. Then I walked off with Rachel and Alex. They were very supportive, considering we just met. Rachel offered that she struck up a conversation with me because she thought I was attractive. Hey, guys like to have their ego's stroked too, especially by lovely women!

We had a great time with at dinner, and I did give them my card. I hope they stay in touch.

But as we were talking and eating, we would notice Debbie at the bar talking with the two guys. Eventually, they left -- she was alone at the bar. No one came over to talk with her. I thought that was sad. I felt that was God's work. I hope she learned something. Had she been nicer, she could have had a great time with us, and left with new friends instead of being left alone.