Friday, March 10, 2006

The Hypocracy of Sexual Relations in San Francisco -- Or At Least The Marina District

I'm writing this having just arrived from a weird fund-raiser in the Marina District. Well, I came from having coffee and talking at The Balboa Cafe after attending the event nearby on Broadway.

I was invited by a woman I met at Bix about two months ago, and with her friend, who was also at the party. As it turns out both know folks I know who were also there. Plus there was a black woman I just met the night before at the Balboa, but who seems to have some problem with talking to any other black person in a mostly-white audience. I experienced this the night before, as she and I were sitting with another group of people, but had never met before. At the Balboa this seemingly nice woman got drunk and told off some guy who was uneventfully talking to her other women friends -- and did so with such anger she both revealed inner problems she had and nearly got tossed out of the bar.

So, to my surprise, I saw her the next day -- today -- at this event.

What got me about the entire night was how -- once again -- I'm made to feel like some alien amoung white women who don't want black guys (and in this case a black woman who had obvously terrible problems that led to anxieties about black men). These women have certain ways they communicate this, and that's fine with me, but it also is tiresome.

It hit home with me when the person who invited me made a comment that I should be able to see some mark on a man's lower chin after kissing him.

Hey, I'm totally straight and love women. But it's one of those weird signals a white woman who's not interested in black men will send to a black man. (Most black men try to ignore this, but there's this caste system in place I'm totally tired of. I told her "I'm straight. What are you talking about?")

As the evening progressed, her friend who likes her cocktails had a few and got what she normally gets -- horny for someone white regardless of age. (I've seen it before.) This led her to basically have some form of boring "hidden" sex at the bar of the host who owned the place and with the host -- a nice upper-middle aged and pauchy Caucasian fellow who complained earlier of not being able to meet anyone -- in full view of everyone else.

What cracked me up was how her other friends were both upset and yet pretending like they didn't know what was going on -- except me. I pointed it out, and asked if they were using a condom. Moreover, I wasn't even aroused. Why? My enormous ego, which said "If that chick's going to go for someone who's not as good-looking and nice as me, no way am I gonna want her."

Aside from that, was going through my mind was this: she's way, way drunk and not only letting this happen, but her friends are too. So what happens when everyone's sober? Why the act of blindness? I didn't get it.

As for why I wasn't agressive? Simple. Given that she was drunk, I'm not going to be tricked or teased into an action that could get me in trouble later.