Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Sex rehab for sexual addiction: What is it, and how does it work?

With all the celebrities that have admitted themselves into ‘sex rehab’ centers recently, you might be curious about what goes on there. How does sex rehab work? Is it effective, or is this just an excuse to ask others for forgiveness? You might even scoff at the idea that someone needs to enter a sex rehab center. Perhaps you believe all they really need to do is come clean and stop cheating on their significant other, or choose to live a single life so as to not hurt others with lies and increased exposure to sexually transmitted diseases. This article serves to explain what sexual rehabilitation or ‘sex rehab’ is, and how a person with a sexual addiction might benefit from this form of treatment.

Treatment for sexual addiction tends to focus on two main areas:

1) Separating the addict from opportunities to continue harmful sexual patterns of behavior, much in the same way drug addicts need to be separated from their drug-filled lifestyle. This is why inpatient or residential treatment is often the suggested setting. An inpatient setting provides a controlled setting, which aims to eliminate opportunities for compulsive behavior.

2) Utilization of a safe, therapeutic setting with trained professionals to help individuals begin to face the guilt, shame and depression that is common amongst sexual addicts.

Sexual rehabilitation centers may vary in the variety of psychological treatment modalities they provide, but this list contains a broad overview of therapeutic strategies that have proven to be effective at helping people overcome sexual addiction.

12-Step Programs. Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) is a 12 step program which utilizes principles similar to those used in other addiction programs, such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and Narcotics Anonymous (NA.) However, unlike AA, where the goal is complete abstinence from all alcohol, SA pursues abstinence only from compulsive, destructive sexual behavior. By admitting powerlessness over their addiction, seeking the help of God or a higher power, working the 12 different steps, seeking a sponsor and attending meetings consistently, many addicts have been able to regain intimacy in their personal relationships.

Cognitive-Behavior Therapy (CBT).
This form of therapy helps people to examine the relationship between their thoughts, feelings and behaviors as they relate to their addictive patterns. By targeting the triggers and reinforcers that perpetuate the addictive pattern, people can begin to short-circuit the process and make healthy changes. Treatment can include teaching addicts therapeutic tools such as thought stopping, behavioral substitution, and thought record keeping, as a means to prevent the relapse of addictive patterns.

Interpersonal Therapy. Traditional "talk therapy" or counseling with an individual therapist can be helpful in providing a space for individuals to sort through past experiences that shaped addictive behavior, as well as manage mood symptoms, increase the ability to cope with stressors, and learn healthier lifestyle patterns and behaviors.

Group Therapy
Group therapy typically consists mental health professional(s) facilitating a group of people that engage in dialogue around addiction issues, and learn from related psychoeducational materials. A group environment is thought to enable people to learn from others’ experiences, strengths and relapses. It is also an ideal setting for people to learn through the confrontation of denial and rationalizations common among addicts in various stages of their rehabilitation.

Recent developments in the literature suggest that certain psychotropic medications (antidepressants) may prove to be useful for many people in managing sexual addiction. In addition to treating mood symptoms common among sex addicts, these medications may have some benefit in reducing sexual obsessions and ruminations.

This article was composed by Dr. Christina Villarreal, Clinical Psychologist in Oakland, CA


2 The National Council on Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity - and
3 Defense Security Services -
4 Patrick Carnes (1991). Don't call it love: Recovery from sexual addiction, (New York: Bantam, pp. 22-23, 30-34).
5 Michael Herkov, Ph.D., Mark S. Gold, M.D., and Drew W. Edwards, M.S., Feb 2001

YouTube is down again as of 5:01 PM PST

For some reason, and for the second time in less than a week, the top video sharing and distribution site is down again.

As of 5:01 PM PSY a "Http/1.1 Service Unavailable" note appeared when one tries to go to

YouTube went down last Thursday morning, but the matter was quickly resolved.

There's no word via email by YouTube on this. This also happens to be the day when YouTube was installing a major make-over to its video pages, including Zennie62.

Stay tuned.

Sandra Bullock news: Jesse James Nazi Picture is out

In the latest update in the Sandra Bullock and Jesse James cheating scandal, we can report this Sandra Bullock news: the Jesse James Nazi Picture is out.

The photo that was long rumored to exist – one of Bullock's husband Jesse James in Nazi gear and giving the salute – has surfaced at and US Weekly.

For those of you who need a backstory, the quick version is that Jesse James allegedly had affairs with as many as five women: Michelle "Bombshell" McGee, Melissa Smith, Brigitte Daguerre, and a fourth and fifth woman, both who declined to identify themselves at this time.

But the photo, which this blogger had hoped did not exist, does, even though it took a week for TMZ to produce it.

The guess is they didn't want to be caught in another hoax. But the photo, which is two years old according to TMZ, shows Jesse James wearing a Waffen SS visor and striking the "sieg heil" salute. There's also a german model airplane next to him. Where it was taken, TMZ does not know.

What the hell was Jesse James thinking?

Stay tuned.

French version:

Mindy Lawton and Jamie Jungers, Tiger Woods mistresses, in Vanity Fair

Related searches: loredana jolie ferriolo, vanity fair, vanity, vanity fair tiger woods, daily mail showbiz

Mindy Lawton 
Now that Tiger Woods, the World's Greatest Golfer, has made a public apology for his 12 or 14 mistresses and affairs, and gave a five-minute interview to ESPN and The Golf Channel, it seems Tiger Woods' mistresses are surfacing to fill-in the blanks created in Tiger's statements.

But statements by Mindy Lawton and Jamie Jungers, Tiger Woods Mistress Number 6 and Number 4 respectively, are a doozy.

In his Golf Channel interview, Tiger Woods claimed that...

"It was all me. I'm the one who did it. I'm the one who acted the way I acted. No one knew what was going on when it was going on. I'm sure if more people would have known in my inner circle, they would have stopped it or tried to put a stop to it. But I kept it all to myself."

But Mindy Lawton and Jamie Jungers are to be believed, and there's no reason to think not, Tiger Woods is not telling the truth. According to Vanity Fair, and a preview of an article by Mark Seal, Mindy Lawton says that when the National Enquirer approached her regarding her affair (an event mentioned last December in this space), Tiger Woods directed Lawton to call his agent IMG's Mark Steinberg who said "We'll take care of it."

Jamie Jungers told Vanity Fair that she would schedule meetup with Tiger Woods through Byron Bell, Woods, childhood friend and the President of Tiger Woods Design.

Beyond that, what Mark Seal writes is essentially a rehash of a lot of information about Tiger woods mistresses that appeared in blogs, like Zennie62. The info on Tiger Woods gambling habits has been mentioned before, but in a whisper.

What Vanity Fair's Seal does is take all of the history - well, most of it - and put it into one complete article. The revelation that Tiger Woods' agent and managers were essentially involved in the maintenance of his affairs is new and damaging.

Can't help but wonder what Tiger Woods Wife Elin Nordegren thinks of all of this.

Ricky Martin coming out as gay: 6 stages for understanding the emotional process

After years of fighting off rumors about his sexuality, Latin singer Ricky Martin has finally just posted the following message on his official Web site, coming out and telling the world he is gay.

"Today is my day, this is my time, and this is my moment. These years in silence and reflection made me stronger and reminded me that acceptance has to come from within and that this kind of truth gives me the power to conquer emotions I didn't even know existed ... I am proud to say that I am a fortunate homosexual man. I am very blessed to be who I am," he wrote.

Coming out as gay, lesbian bisexual or transgendered is a process that for many, is experienced in stages of change. While there are different models and theories about coming out, the six-step process (The Model of Homosexuality Identity Formation) was created by psychological theorist Vivienne Cass in 1979 and is still an accepted model for understanding the experience. While many will not experience these steps in a linear course, the following steps capture essential components of the coming out process. These steps are not necessarily mutually exclusive, and can be experienced simultaneously. For example other theorists have said that it is not uncommon for people go back and forth in their sexual identity development.

Step One: Identity Confusion
"Who am I?" is the major question in this step. People in this stage of the coming out process start to notice their attraction to same-sex people and really question what it means. Am I gay? Am I a lesbian? Am I transgendered? Am I bisexual? Within this stage there may be a denial of inner feelings as a person continues to see themselves as a member of the mainstream, heterosexual population. Some may consider their behaviors as ‘just experimenting’. Some people in this stage might keep emotional involvement separate from their sexual activity; others may choose to have deeply emotional relationships that are non-sexual.

Step Two: Identity Comparison
At this stage, a person may try to find an explanation for why they are having the feelings they are experiencing. "Maybe I am gay. Or maybe I'm bisexual." Feelings of isolation & alienation are common in this stage. A person might wonder "Is this a phase?" "Am I only attracted to this one same sex person, or is this going to be a permanent trend?"

Step Three: Identity Tolerance
In this stage, a person might begin to accept identifying as gay, lesbian or transgendered or bisexual. Some might come to terms with some parts of being gay, but not fully embrace it. For example, one might accept participating in sexual activity with a woman and consider it okay, but may not be ready to identity as lesbian or bisexual in public, leading a ‘double life.’ Or a man may come to accept that he has fallen in love with another man, but considers this an isolated situation. At this stage, it is common for people to seek out a gay/lesbian/bi-sexual community or social group as a way to explore or experience identifying with other people of the same sexual orientation as a means for support.

Step Four: Identity Acceptance
In this stage a person has begun to accept, rather than just tolerate their sexual identity. People often begin forming friendships with other gay, lesbian, transgendered or bisexual people. Many begin to realize that being lesbian or bisexual is acceptable, and that their life can and will be happy and fulfilling. At this stage, it is common to begin coming out to a few trusted individuals.

Step Five: Identity Pride
People who are in this stage feel a sense of pride of their sexual orientation, and feel comfortable interacting in gay communities. They start coming out to others in their lives, by making their sexual orientation publicly known. It’s also common for people to feel angry and resentful about the lack of legal and social rights that gay and lesbian people experience. Some people may get involved in gay and lesbian activism. Others may feel the need to isolate.

Step Six: Identity Synthesis
In this stage, a person’s sexual orientation is integrated into their whole identity. For many, this includes a holistic view of the self and people often feel equally comfortable in straight and gay, lesbian, transgendered or bi-sexual environments.

This article was composed by Dr. Christina Villarreal, Clinical Psychologist in Oakland, CA