Steve Jobs, Chairman and CEO of Next, Inc., as well as Apple Computer, annouced that Next purchased Disney for just north of $234 billion today, in a hostile takeover. Jobs and his investment bankers used Next, believed dead, as the holding company for their takeover bid.
"I'm ready to bring Disney into the 21st Century," Jobs said as Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs stood behind him with perfect Disney smiles.
Jobs also revealed plans to transform Walt Disney World in to the real EPCOT, or Experimental Prototype Community of Tommorrow. "Walt never got to see his dream come to life. We're going to make it happen. There are too many problems in our cities not to have an urban lab of some kind. EPCOT will be just that."
He also said that Disney would convince the NFL to allow it to establish a franchise in Los Angeles. "We can clear up the mess that the other deals the NFL's looking at are, and build a new kind of sports company around the new LA franchise."
Jobs also took time to appologize for how Disney treated A.A Miline, the creator of the "Winnie The Poo" cartoons, who claimed Disney owned it $200 milllion in back revenues from the "Poo" property. "Disney will do everything to clean up this mess," Jobs said, "and restore Winnie The Poo and Tigger, too, to the Disney family."
April fool!
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