Phil Williams Of NC5 Needs Lesson In Fair Use Legal Rights For News Re: Tennessee House Melee

Phil Williams Of NC5 Needs Lesson In Fair Use Legal Rights For News Re: Tennessee House Melee

Phil Williams Of NC5 Needs Lesson In Fair Use Legal Rights For News Re: Tennessee House Melee Not sure who Phil Williams thinks he is but you can’t run afoul of Fair Use Legal Rights for News Commentary by posting a newsworthy video but then tell other media they can’t show it. Learn the Stanford Four Factors Test for news. As to what happened that’s in the video from Mondsy, three Tennessee House Democrats were being expelled for engagement in a peaceful protest on the floor during last Thursday’s session. Then Rep. Justin Jones was making a video and then Rep. Lafferty (R-Knox) pushes him and grabs his phone. That started the melee captured in the video that Phil Williams posted on Twitter. The real question is why were they protesting in the first place last Thursday? Well, gun reform in the wake of the recent mass shooting. It completely wild that Republicans don’t want to have common-sense gun reform even as we’re faced with a rash of mass shootings. Crazy. And also crazy is trying to block Fair Use Legal News Commentary, which is what this is. That Stanford Four Factors Test is: The four factors judges consider are: the purpose and character of your use the nature of the copyrighted work the amount and substantiality of the portion taken, and the effect of the use upon the potential market. Or: purpose was educational, nature of the work was non-fiction news, amount used was a fraction, and effect was to promote Phil’s video. There you go. Stay tuned.
via YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2Ma7c3RtzM

Why Oakland Is Behind With Howard Terminal Ballpark

Why Oakland Is Behind With Howard Terminal Ballpark

Ok, here's the totally, completely, unvarnished, hard, difficult truth why the City of Oakland is so far behind where it should be in helping the Oakland Athletics build a ballpark at Howard Terminal. The simple set of reasons I am about to roll out can be summed up in one word: over-politicization. That's right: over-politicization. Robert Bobb's Downtown Ballpark Dream Dashed By Jerry Brown The fact is the structure for Oakland's bureaucratic slowness was formed with the passage of “Measure X”, then-Oakland Mayor Jerry Brown's version of a long-sought-after form of government called Strong Mayor. Passed in 1998, it took effect in 1999, and matted Brown with a person who was every-bit his match on the city administrative side: then-City Manager Robert Bobb. Mr. Bobb, who was trained in the traditional fashion of city managers, to, well, run a city, including it's public-private-partnerships, and who wanted Oakland to “Host Super Bowls and build ballparks” as he said at an early February 1999 city staff meeting I attended (as the new city consultant who was Economic Advisor to the previous Mayor Elihu Harris) to plan for Oakland's then-annual trip to Las Vegas for the International Council of Shopping Center's Spring Convention. As it turned out, Bobb's dreams for Oakland clashed head-long with Brown's in Bobb's pursuit of a downtown ballpark for the Oakland A's in 2002 (and after Bobb hired me to form a bid for Oakland to host the 2005 Super Bowl). Brown fired Bobb, who then was almost immediately snatched up by Washington DC, and successfully brought Major League Baseball there, along with a downtown ballpark. In short, Oakland's version of strong mayor pushed out many a trained city-builder, and left in its place an organizational habit of elected officials using big projects to burnish their own images, and accomplish nothing in return by completing those big projects. The Oakland A's quest for a ballpark home has been victimized by it. Indeed, Oakland's version of strong mayor is why Oakland has lost all of its professional sports teams, and has done nothing to try and replace any of them. Ron Dellums Plays Political Games With Oakland's Ballpark Dreams In the case of the now-late Ron Dellums, the great congressman had the sad habit of playing ballpark advocates against each other, with one wanting a building at the Coliseum and the other at Howard Terminal, and both coming up short. Rather than one giant task force to determine what should be done, and one that should have been led by Oakland's Economic Development Department, and a person who was trained at implementing large-scale projects, Dellums allowed many task forces to form, even one by the Oakland Chamber of Commerce, who's job is to help the City of Oakland, and not lead it in a direction of its own making. But, to be sure, the person who's face was on the entire affair was Oakland Mayor Ron Dellums, and no one else. Oakland Councilmember Larry Reid worked to try and carve out a larger role, but again, it was an example of an elected official's hand being in the pot, and not a city-building city official. Then came Oakland Mayor Jean Quan. Mayor Quan Doesn't Let Fred Blackwell Be The Face of Oakland Sports Business Retention Unlike Brown and Dellums, Mayor Quan smartly put Oakland Eonomic Development Director Fred Blackwell in charge of projects, including a new arena for the Warriors, a new stadium for the Raiders, and a new arena for the Warriors. Unfortunately, Quan and the Oakland City Council's insistance on having themselves as the face of the efforts, led to bungled lease negotiations with the A's and Alameda County, and the embarassing idea that the financing fortunes of the planned Coliseum City were in the hands of the Prince of Dubai, rather than a complex financing plan typical of such large scale public-private partnerships. Then came Oakland Mayor Libby Schaaf. Libby Schaaf's Jerry Brown Playbook Fails As Raiders Leave Oakland Continued here at Zennie62Media's Oakland News Online: https://ift.tt/aFyvNWb
via YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0OaJOBgQnM

What Trump Getting Indicted Means For America By Vinny Lospinuso

What Trump Getting Indicted Means For America By Vinny Lospinuso

Join Zennie62 YouTube channel to get access to perks: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCqtc118chzxCUJExjeWbeEA/join A ...
via YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jD6UkUJCHWc

Ending Oakland Eviction Moratoriums In A Pandemic-Weakened Recession-Bound Economy Is Crazy

Ending Oakland Eviction Moratoriums In A Pandemic-Weakened Recession-Bound Economy Is Crazy

Ending Oakland Eviction Moratoriums In A Pandemic-Weakened Recession-Bound Economy Is Crazy The main problem here is simple: overall, Government (using a big G) has forgotten that its duty is economic development and not poor-people creation. One would think that decades of government policy around Keynesian Economics would have burned that idea into the American culture. But it appears decades of development of the idea that what government pays for is someone else's problem has overtaken what people supposedly elect politicians to do. This is true now in California, and Oakland seems to be getting the fever. So, absent California, Alameda County, or Oakland government stepping in and paying to provide assistance to both landlords and renters on anything more than a piecemeal basis has yielded this giant problem: the massive insanity of California seeking to push out many who can't afford rent because the job market crashed and making up the idea that rents not paid by those who are working. The sad truth is worse: scores of businesses forced to close due to Government Pandemic policy have taken money from many small business workers, and at a time when Government could have paid the businesses to close, but did not. There's only one word for this state of affairs: crazy. Another word is immoral. And yet another word is inhuman. This will officially plunge America into the place of a third-world country. A failed nation resting on the democratic ideal of a recent time. America has forgotten one truth: democracy works best in a non-class-system, where there's no permanent group of poor, and homelessness is a fantasy rather than a reality. When I grew up the idea of anyone being in such terrible conditions they would sleep on the streets was not even heard of. But here we are, 60 years later, and we find an America where homelessness is normalized. And we have done this under both Democrat and Republican regimes. And in Oakland and California, where legislation using tax increment financing is available, it's not used to form zones collecting property tax for bonds issues that could get assistance money to landlords and renters, and small business owners. In closing, we're in a terrible place: a place where government has failed its people. Where we go from here is a matter of political will. Stay tuned.
via YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1H0HfMnE8t4

Oakland Mayor Sheng Thao To Hire Robert Bobb As Chief Administrative Officer

Oakland Mayor Sheng Thao To Hire Robert Bobb As Chief Administrative Officer

Oakland Mayor Sheng Thao hiring Robert Bobb for CAO! Site a desire to have an experienced, steady hand to run the City of ...
via YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JChnN92vsb4

Test Posting For New Format

Oakland Raiders News Las Vegas Stadium Update Talk

Donald Trump: the psychological impact of toxic masculinity and how healthy, happy men diversify

I want to begin this piece by sharing how challenging it can be for me to understand the underpinnings of American masculinity as an American woman of color. Even after 10 years of experience as a clinical psychologist, coach and professor I still feel stumped sometimes in helping men navigate their career development and improve their interpersonal relationships, particularly as it relates to their masculine identity. I have a deep sense of curiosity and motivation to understand the perspectives of all my clientele. Public figures can also also stir my intellectual curiosity, especially when similar issues are cropping up among those I’m helping in my practice. I write as a way to synthesize the research and consultation I do with professional colleagues and members of various social groups to increase my understanding of particular clinical issues. By improving my understanding of how men operate within their gender framework, I can more effectively support their goals for happiness and achievement while respecting their values and world view. Donald Trump’s entire public life provides a rich opportunity to examine how male gender expression, at it’s extreme, can lead to a toxic psychological crisis in masculine identity. In this article I’d like to set aside drawing conclusions about his potential to effectively lead as President of The United States of America. Why? Just imagine for a moment, what it would be like to be Donald Trump’s therapist. You see, as difficult as it may be, therapists must aim to reserve judgment in order to understand and assess how to be helpful in creating healthy change and growth. If we can we understand Donald Trump’s psychological make-up as it relates to masculinity, surely we can learn something about the gender confines that men face in getting their psychological needs met as they strive for fulfillment and achievement. Why is this important? Trump reflects the toxic side of American masculinity, and if we don’t take a close look at how and why toxicity develops and festers within male culture, we can’t begin to stop it from infecting others in small or large ways in men everywhere. Imagine for a moment, a four way street intersection, where gas fueling stations are housed on each of the four corners. At each fueling station, you can ‘fill up your tank’ on: Physical Aggression/Strength/Athleticism Money/Influence of Financial Wealth Control/Influence Upon Others (at work or in personal relationships) Sexual Prowess and Virility/Sexual Satisfaction These four fueling stations can be seen as representing the most traditional, socially acceptable, even socially celebrated opportunities for men to fuel their sense of masculinity. Whether or not you personally agree with this, the vast majority of American men are measured by others against these four standards of traditional masculinity at various points in their life. While men also aim for other forms of achievement (e.g. intellectual development, family life development, practice of religious faith) those strivings aren’t typically seen as embodying strength of masculinity in and of themselves. Traditional masculine-affirming pursuits do not have to be at the expense of other’s rights, take on a quality of malicious manipulation and oppression, or require a man to rely on them as his sole means for fulfillment. Masculine identity serves men best when it allows space for them to thrive in these traditional areas should they choose, but also allows them ample space to enrich their lives through other areas of fulfillment and connectivity. Some men whom I’ve worked with appear to be ‘stuck‘ in the relentless pursuit of boosting one or more of these traditional areas of masculinity in the hopes of achieving lasting happiness. The theory of masculine overcompensation dates back to Sigmund Freud’s notions of ‘reaction formation‘ and ‘defense mechanisms‘. Some men respond to having their masculinity questioned by emphasizing their expression of traditional masculine traits. In 2013, a group of sociologists put this theory to the test. In Overdoing Gender,” a study for the American Journal of Sociology, men were given feedback suggesting they were ‘feminine’, which led to an increased support for war, homophobic attitudes, interest in purchasing an SUV, support for, and desire to advance in dominance hierarchies, and belief in male superiority. Research from The American Journal of Men’s Health and a host of other studies conclude that the expression of traditional masculine traits can be hazardous for men’s health functioning. William Ming Liu, editor of the journal Psychology of Men and Masculinity describes toxic masculinity as providing a very limited way for men to relate to each other- when boys are socialized to avoid feelings and weakness it increases their overall psychological stress. As a woman and mental health professional, it can be tempting to say “hmmm…have you considered seeking fulfillment from OTHER areas? You’ve already experienced objectively high levels of achievement through these traditional areas, and you’re telling me you’re still unhappy/unsatisfied. Why not pivot and diversify? See if some other areas of personal development could help you feel better/more fulfilled for the long term?” In my professional experience, toxicity can take root in a man’s masculine identity when he gets stuck searching for fulfillment from these 4 traditional areas of masculinity only. Without diversification, it can lead to toxic overdose! In Donald Trump’s case, he keeps going back for more and more like an addict- all of his accomplishments are no longer getting him that desired high, so he keeps upping the ante. Overdosed on orange self-tanner and sporting a shellacked comb over, surrounding himself with garish gold interiors, aggressively forcing himself sexually upon countless women, accruing more debt in the relentless pursuit of financial return, publicly decrying ideas of racial superiority that benefit himself at the expense of others, and finally, seeking political office as the world’s most powerfully influential men. He is feeding his own internal beast and he does not appear to be slowing down. I suspect there is a deep, empty abyss inside his sense of identity that is always starving for increasingly grandiose, self-serving displays of ‘success’. This particular phenomenon of toxic masculinity is not only psychologically unhealthy, but socially destructive when public figures like Donald Trump effectively normalize misogyny, sexism, racism and xenophobia. donald-trump While many American men aspire to experience some degree of his accomplishments in the areas of wealth, power, influence, access and opportunity with beautiful women, it’s important to underscore that these gains alone may very well NOT lead to the level of fulfillment and happiness one might imagine. Encouraging a more well-rounded sense of masculine identity, one that allows room for pursuits that go beyond the traditional male gender constructs will increase men’s opportunity for lasting and balanced happiness. Research by Levant and other psychologists reveal healthy aspects of masculinity might actually protect and improve men’s health. These healthy aspects of masculinity include: Self-Reliance Responsibility (personal, familial, societal) Emotional maturity/emotional intelligence Investing in making a positive impact on society/the environment that is personally meaningful Aiming to grow and diversify oneself in these key areas can help men achieve lasting personal fulfillment beyond traditional masculine pursuits for success. Each are common treatment goals I work on with the high-achieving men in my executive coaching practice. Many have shared with me how rewarding it feels to build upon what they’ve already mastered and thrive in these important life aspirations. Dr. Christina Villarreal is a mental health expert, executive coach, professor and writer practicing in the San Francisco Bay Area. Professional inquiries may reach her at www.drchristinavillarreal.com

New Year's resolutions have come and gone: getting 'unstuck' in 2015

The end of January has arrived, and for many, the enthusiasm for New Year's resolutions has waned. How does the song go? 'Back to life, Back to Reality'. This can be a discouraging time, especially if you're still feeling as 'stuck' as you did in 2014. A few weeks ago, just back from a European trip I came down with the flu. Stuck in bed, I decided to start watching the series Downton Abbey after enjoying London while abroad. I proceeded to watch 4 full seasons in 2 week's time. That's about 32 hours of Amazon instant stream binging. I'm actually not sharing this with you here to impress you with my television watching abilities (though they are now well honed) I want to pass on some wisdom from the character Violet Crawley, Dowager Countess of Grantham in Downton Abbey. A razor tongued, hilarious matriarch with brilliant one liners, she said something that struck me as impressively simple, yet an invaluable outlook to adopt in life. She said "All life is a series of problems which we must try and solve. The first one and the next and the next, until at last we die." This message was directed towards her discouraged granddaughter, who was feeling overwhelmed by the ongoing string of unfortunate events of her life. While some may take her advice as grimly pessimistic, it struck me as both calming and reassuring. We must try to take a step back from our current circumstances and keep in mind, we're always going to be facing a "thing" to overcome or achieve, big or small. No need to harbor shame in the process, or adopt a sense of personal defectiveness, it's the nature of life. Resolution will come and/or 'that thing' will pass, because change is inevitable. In the meantime, try to find a bit of joy. Reach out to friends, find humor in the process, remind yourself that you are not the only one. One of the many things I love about helping people when they feel 'stuck' in a bad place, is hearing from them down the road, long after we've worked through those darkest hours. Nothing brings me more joy than finding out they are now flourishing and past that difficult phase when they came to me for professional support and skill building. It's concrete evidence that even when things completely fall apart in someone's life, things will turn around in time. Resolution has a way of happening, one way or another. I am reminded that life goes on, and my confidence is renewed in helping others find their way too. The hardest moments pass, we find a way to work through those dark hours, and there are surely joyful times to come. Life is a series of highs and lows. We can't change that inevitably and in knowing that we can find some peace and comfort as we get though it. Dr. Christina Villarreal is a mental health expert and coach in the San Francisco Bay Area. For professional inquiries please visit www.drchristinavillarreal.com

Prescription medicines: asking the right questions to keep you informed

Prescription medicines: asking the right questions to keep you informed This week is National Drug Facts Week (January 26th-February 1st), and in partnership with The American Recall Center, I’d like to highlight some key tips for better understanding the prescription medicine you’ve been prescribed. It’s not uncommon for people to leave their medical appointment without genuinely understanding why they’ve been given a prescription, and/or how it will work or feel if taken regularly. As a mental health provider I may help people explore the possibility of taking a medicine to help them better manage their mood, ability to sleep, etc. in conjunction with psychotherapy, coaching, and/or other health modifications like exercise, changes in work-life balance, or diet. I support them in taking an active role in managing their health, and understanding the risks and gains of the various decisions they may choose. Over the past 15 years in my work in healthcare, some of the most common concerns people have expressed to me about taking an antidepressant is the impact it may have on their sexual functioning, weight gain/loss, ability to experience ‘normal’ emotions, or fear of becoming ‘dependent’ on it over time. Others are concerned it could interfere with their active lifestyle or prevent them from enjoying alcohol or other recreational choices. It’s normal to have reservations about starting any new medication. If you don’t feel comfortable discussing your concerns with your prescribing provider you may miss out on the significant benefits it could provide you, by opting not to take it out of misunderstanding or fear. The following list is a helpful guideline to have with you during your health appointment, and/or when you pick up your prescription from the pharmacy. It can help to bring it to your appointment, and write down your provider’s responses as a way to make the most informed decision possible. Be proactive: gather as much information as you can before you leave your appointment What is the name of the medicine, and for what specific reasons should I take it? What is the name of the condition this medicine will treat? How long will it take to work? How should I store the medicine? Does it need to be refrigerated? Can the pharmacist substitute a cheaper, generic form of the medicine? Will the medicine create conflicts with other medicines, herbs or supplements or recreational substances I use? Find out how you are supposed to take it for optimal effect: When and how often should I take this medicine? As needed, or on a specific schedule? Do I take the medicine before, with, or between meals? How long will I have to take it? Know what to expect while taking this new medicine: How will I feel once I start taking this medicine? How will I know if this medicine is working in the way that it should? What side effects might I expect to experience? Will they go away? How long might it take for any side effects to subside, if at all? Ask how this new medicine fits in with any other other medicines or substances you take: Are there other medicines or activities I should avoid while taking this medicine? Will this medicine change how my other medicines work? (Ask about both prescription AND over-the-counter substances you take, even if it’s only occasionally or rarely) Will this medicine change how any of my herbal or dietary supplements work? Ask if your new medicine interferes with eating or drinking. Are there any foods or liquids that I shouldn’t drink or eat? Can I drink alcohol or other use recreational substances like marijuana while taking this medicine? How much is generally safe/unsafe? Is it OK to eat or drink food before or after I take the medicine? Other important questions to ask: If I forget to take it, what should I do? What should I do if I feel I want to stop taking this medicine? Is it safe to just stop or do I need to gradually stop taking it? Always call and check in with your doctor or pharmacist if: You have questions or you are confused/uncertain about the directions for taking your medicine. You are having side effects from the medicine. Do not stop taking the medicine without telling your doctor. You may need a different dose or a different medicine. Your medicine looks different than you expected. Your refill medicine is different than what you usually get. Dr. Christina Villarreal is a clinical psychologist practicing in the San Francisco Bay Area, CA. For more information about her practice, please visit her website at www.drchristinavillarreal.com

References Your medicine: Be smart. Be safe. Patient Guide. AHRQ Publication No. 11–0049-A, April 2011. Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality, Rockville, MD, and the National Council on Patient Information and Education, Rockville, MD. Accessed May 10, 2014. NIH Senior Health. Taking medicines safely. January 2011. Accessed May 10, 2014. Update Date: 5/11/2014 Updated by: Linda J. Vorvick, MD, Medical Director and Director of Didactic Curriculum, MEDEX Northwest Division of Physician Assistant Studies, Department of Family Medicine, UW Medicine, School of Medicine, University of Washington. Also reviewed by David Zieve, MD, MHA, Isla Ogilvie, PhD, and the A.D.A.M. Editorial team.

Gen-Y's tech twist on engagement, weddings and parenthood

While Gen-Y is still getting married at much lower rates than previous generations, some millennials are finally beginning to grow up, entering the world of marital engagements, wedding planning, and parenthood. True to form, their choices reflect advancements that set them apart from Gen-Xers, who were the first to utilize technology to chronicle their love stories on websites like theknot.com, build wedding registries online, gift personalized CDs with digitally remastered music as wedding favors, show spliced video montages of the bride and groom's childhood at wedding receptions, and research honeymoons on websites like tripadvisor.com. As a card carrying member of generation X, I can proudly say we thought we were so cutting edge! Our kids were the first to be born with smartphones and tablets in their hands, and we posted their baby pictures on our social media pages and texted them to their grandparents. But time nor technology stands still, and Gen-Y has begun to put their own tech twist on engagements, weddings and baby plans. As a mental health treatment provider and consultant who works almost entirely with millennials in the San Francisco Bay Area, I have taken note of the following trends: Their romantic relationships have an online life of their own. As the saying goes, no one really knows what happens behind closed doors, but in the personal lives of millennials, we can certainly take a look at their online activity to see what they'd like us to believe about their relationship status and history. The internet has become their forum of choice for chronicling romantic highs and lows, functioning as a means to gain public support, air grievances, compete for attention, and display markers of success (not to mention deleting away failures.) From public playlists on Spotify, hashtags on Twitter and Instagram, Pinterest boards and Facebook's 'Relationship Status' updates, Gen-Y leaves little to the imagination when it comes to sharing their stories of romance. They crowd source their decisions when it comes to navigating relationships. Millennials are used to solving problems fast, arriving at optimal solutions with the least resistance possible. Millennials have been groomed to work in competency-based teams, and this concept is frequently used for managing their personal lives too. They prefer to avoid conflict, and are more comfortable than previous generations relying on others to help them make decisions. Jeff Snipes, CEO of Ninth House, a provider of online education, including optimizing team effectiveness, says a hierarchical, leader-oriented team was more appropriate for earlier generations: “Traditionally if you worked up the ranks for twenty years and all the employees were local then you could know all the functions of the workplace. Then you could lead by barking orders. But today everything moves too fast and the breadth of competency necessary to do something is too vast.” When faced with life-changing decisions about relationship commitment or endings, Gen-Y seeks the opinions of their team of friends, family and experts to help them navigate and solve problems. When problems are deemed too private to share, websites like popular sites like Whisper and Secret are put to use by millennials as a way to air their private thoughts, share their hidden behaviors and ask for advice completely anonymously, so there is no threat to their carefully constructed online image. Their engagement stories, weddings and honeymoons reflect their brilliance and investment in personal branding. While previous generations aimed to establish their worth and reputation through self-improvement, author Dan Schawbel of Me 2.0: Build a Powerful Brand to Achieve Career Success points out that Gen-Y has discovered that in the dawn of the internet, admiration and success comes from self-packaging through a carefully concocted personal brand. From the days of Myspace to Tumblr, millennials have grown up managing their self image like celebrity publicists. Gen-Y has turned self-portraits into a way of life- 'selfies' have become one of the internet's top forms of self-expression. Their overall online presence has been a way to uniquely distinguish themselves from everyone else, and they are highly invested in making their relationship milestones ideally memorable as part of their personal brand. Whether they capture and share these milestones via Snapchat's Our Story, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, or personal blogs, millennials are sure to control how the world sees their love stories unfold through brand management. One San Francisco Bay area millennial shared with me she got engaged via FaceTime, since her long-distance boyfriend was living in abroad and couldn't wait to pop the question. To his credit, her (now fiance) also created an iMovie that he shared with her, depicting him staged in funny scenarios accompanied by a personalized musical score that specially captured their romantic history. They're comfortable resisting tradition, understanding that 'following the rules' doesn't necessarily bring 'happily ever after.' Author Paul Hudson of Elite Daily, The Voice of Generation Y observes that millennials are far less likely than past generations to buy into the notion that marriage is the gateway to a future of stability and happiness. Harry Benson, research director at the Marriage Foundation, describes the strong link between parental divorce and a reluctance to get married. “If your parents split up then most people are more likely to be quite skeptical about the value of marriage,” he explains. “So as there’s rising divorce rates, you can imagine how when the next generation appears, people will be more dubious about marriage.” Bobby Duffy, leading market researcher on generational analysis, says there are also far more financial pressures on millennials than previous generations. They have more educational debt in a less stable economic climate, and face an incredibly buoyant housing market. According to CNNMoney, twenty-somethings are transitioning into adult life at a more gradual pace, opting to cohabitate and co-parent without traditional marriage at a much higher rate than previous generations. They anticipate their babies' future in a world where technological identity matters. One website says it all: awesomebabyname.com, a new online tool that allows parents to choose a name for their child based on website domain availability. Yes people, this is happening. I heard it first a few months ago when a pregnant patient of mine found out she was having a girl, the first thing she and her cohabiting boyfriend/expecting father-to-be did was buy website domains and establish email accounts in her name. Of course, now there's an app for that! "It's important to give your children a fighting chance of having good SEO (Search Engine Optimization) in the 21st century," says Finnbar Taylor, who created this website together with Karen X. Cheng. "We use search engines all day long to answer our questions and find things, including people. Imagine being called John Smith and trying to get a ranking on Google search. It's important to give your child a unique name so that people, like potential employers, will be able to find them easily in the future." Granted, millennials are still in their 20's, a time when it's still developmentally common to be preoccupied with self-image, and an idealized future that looks different than previous generations. The question is, as Gen-Y ages, which of these trends, if any, will change? Dr. Christina Villarreal is a clinical psychologist in the San Francisco Bay Area, CA. She produces web articles, televised and print/web interviews on current issues in mental health and tech culture. She offers consultation and strategy to start up founders and employees.

Tech in dating: decoding the social rules of text, online dating & social media, by Dr. Christina Villarreal, Clinical Psychologist

Let’s face it: flirting, finding love and managing relationships have always been complicated, but with the involvement of countless forms of technology now impacting every little step of the way, the social rules of love and sex have only gotten more confusing. The role of tech in dating is a primary topic in psychotherapy sessions I conduct with young singles in the Bay Area of California- the world’s hub and backbone of tech culture. Part of my role as their clinical psychologist is to help them decode and navigate the emerging social rules of text, online dating and social media to help them achieve fulfilling relationships. I recently spoke with Tech Crunch journalist Sara Buhr, who was investigating dating trends among people immersed in the tech industry. Some of the questioned she asked of me were: How are the norms and expectations different? Are young men in tech less likely to follow traditional social rules of dating? How has the proclivity toward using dating websites changed the dating game? This article was born from that conversation, and aims to illuminate the challenges of social connection in the 21st century. So what do we already know? If you want to communicate personally with anyone these days, you’ve got to text them. Casual, easy and non-threatening, text messaging is upending today’s dating culture. The cellphone is the gateway: swiftly and radically changing the way people interact, meet and move forward (or not) in a relationship. According to a report released in 2013 by Nielsen based on actual phone bills of mobile contract subscribers, about 764 text messages per person were sent/received each month in the USA in 2012, compared with about 165 mobile calls per month. A new survey of 1,500 daters provided to USA TODAY reveals how deeply mobile technology has rocked the dating world. The daters, ages 21 to 50, give even greater insight into mobile behaviors and a new range of dating questions: Do you check your phone during a date? How soon must you reply to a text? Should a friend call or text you to see how the date is going? Among the findings: •Approximately one-third of men (31%) and women (33%) agree it’s less intimidating to ask for a date via text vs. a phone call. •More men (44%) than women (37%) say mobile devices make it easier to flirt and get acquainted. “Texting is kind of an ongoing conversation. It does make it easier to flirt. Maybe you’re talking every day,” says Alex Pulda, 27, who works in product research in San Francisco. “It’s not like text conveys a ton of emotion, but you are getting a little more comfortable with each other.” Pulda says he texts for everything, including dates. “I don’t love phone calls,” he says. “They have all the downsides and don’t have the benefit of face-to-face communication. It’s kind of this in-between. And part of it is, it’s a lot more work than a text.” Millennials’ love of texting is rubbing off on other generations, suggests Naomi Baron, a linguistics professor at American University in Washington who has studied electronically mediated communication in five nations, including the USA. She says telephone calls are often thought of as an intrusion, while texting affords a way of “controlling the volume,” a term she uses to describe the sense of control that text gives users that they can’t get with a voice conversation. “We tell ourselves we don’t want to disturb someone. Sometimes it’s true, but more often, it’s because we can’t get them off the phone,” she says. In texting, “we don’t have to talk to people or listen to what another person has to say. We decide how we want to encounter or whether we want to encounter other people. Technology gives us tools for controlling our relationships.” In the modern world of dating, it’s becoming increasingly difficult to know how our electronic messages are being perceived and paced by others. It’s not uncommon (and quite the norm) for my patients to save texts, tweets, status updates and Gchats to discuss and analyze during our psychotherapy sessions. These digital exchanges are often at the root of their increased anxiety and worry, social tension, and depressive symptoms such as decreased concentration and irritability at work and other important areas of functioning. Life coach Debra Smouse explains “when a response [from others] doesn’t come, we begin to worry. When we don’t hear back, our minds start to spiral, creating crazy scenarios and we begin to believe that something is wrong. We know logically that a friend may have left his or her desk or a colleague may be on a call, but when we’re on the other end and stress hits, an unanswered chat box is discomforting, and logic goes out the window.” [Technologies like Gchat] “make us think that because the technology is ‘instant’ and free, people should respond instantly — and there’s something wrong when they don’t,” adds Alex Soojung-Kim Pang, author of “The Distraction Addiction.” It’s not just the frequency and pace of our electronic messages that are difficult to decipher. The content of these exchanges can also be equally confusing in the context of modern dating (a.k.a ‘hanging out‘), getting to know each other, (a.k.a ‘internet stalking‘) and sex (a.k.a ‘hooking up‘.) Ambiguous, common messages like “what’re you up tonight, anything fun going on?”, “I’m out drinking with some friends if you’re around”, and “hey” are all commonplace in the current dating marketplace, can make it difficult for people to gain traction towards building a committed relationship. The normalization and proclivity toward using dating websites in recent years contributes to a pattern of non-comittal social ties. Mobile apps like Tinder, okcupid and plenty of fish supply people with a never-ending source of new social opportunities. The problem is that “young people today don’t know how to get out of hookup culture” Donna Freitas explains, author of the forthcoming book, “The End of Sex: How Hookup Culture is Leaving a Generation Unhappy, Sexually Unfulfilled, and Confused About Intimacy.” “Dodging vulnerability cheats us of the chance to not just create intimacy but also to make relationships work”states Brené Brown, a University of Houston researcher whose work focuses on the need for vulnerability and what happens when we desensitize ourselves to it. In this light, people can utilize psychotherapy as a way to build social skills to help them find, evolve and navigate romantic relationships. Dean, a Millennial who writes about her generation (generally born 1982 to 2000) says, “We really see this generation as having a huge handicap in communication. We have our heads down in our smartphones a lot. We don’t know how to express our emotions, and we tend to hide behind technology, computers and social media.” she says. With diminished opportunity for healthy social relationships, this generation is at increased risk for anxiety, depression and isolation. As a mental health professional, I help people identify the relationship between their thoughts, feelings and behaviors that are leading them to feel ‘stuck’ in unfulfilling social patterns. It’s a slow process- teaching pacing and managing expectations are key to lasting progress. Participating in psychotherapy can help people increase their ability to establish and maintain fulfilling relationships. With these relationships come the superior health benefits of physical contact and emotional intimacy, love, trust and not-so-cyber sex. Dr. Christina Villarreal is a licensed clinical psychologist in the Bay Area, CA with offices in Oakland and San Francisco. For professional inquiries, she may be contacted at christina.villarreal@gmail.com or visit her website at www.drchristinavillarreal.com