Donald Trump: the psychological impact of toxic masculinity and how healthy, happy men diversify

I want to begin this piece by sharing how challenging it can be for me to understand the underpinnings of American masculinity as an American woman of color. Even after 10 years of experience as a clinical psychologist, coach and professor I still feel stumped sometimes in helping men navigate their career development and improve their interpersonal relationships, particularly as it relates to their masculine identity. I have a deep sense of curiosity and motivation to understand the perspectives of all my clientele. Public figures can also also stir my intellectual curiosity, especially when similar issues are cropping up among those I’m helping in my practice. I write as a way to synthesize the research and consultation I do with professional colleagues and members of various social groups to increase my understanding of particular clinical issues. By improving my understanding of how men operate within their gender framework, I can more effectively support their goals for happiness and achievement while respecting their values and world view. Donald Trump’s entire public life provides a rich opportunity to examine how male gender expression, at it’s extreme, can lead to a toxic psychological crisis in masculine identity. In this article I’d like to set aside drawing conclusions about his potential to effectively lead as President of The United States of America. Why? Just imagine for a moment, what it would be like to be Donald Trump’s therapist. You see, as difficult as it may be, therapists must aim to reserve judgment in order to understand and assess how to be helpful in creating healthy change and growth. If we can we understand Donald Trump’s psychological make-up as it relates to masculinity, surely we can learn something about the gender confines that men face in getting their psychological needs met as they strive for fulfillment and achievement. Why is this important? Trump reflects the toxic side of American masculinity, and if we don’t take a close look at how and why toxicity develops and festers within male culture, we can’t begin to stop it from infecting others in small or large ways in men everywhere. Imagine for a moment, a four way street intersection, where gas fueling stations are housed on each of the four corners. At each fueling station, you can ‘fill up your tank’ on: Physical Aggression/Strength/Athleticism Money/Influence of Financial Wealth Control/Influence Upon Others (at work or in personal relationships) Sexual Prowess and Virility/Sexual Satisfaction These four fueling stations can be seen as representing the most traditional, socially acceptable, even socially celebrated opportunities for men to fuel their sense of masculinity. Whether or not you personally agree with this, the vast majority of American men are measured by others against these four standards of traditional masculinity at various points in their life. While men also aim for other forms of achievement (e.g. intellectual development, family life development, practice of religious faith) those strivings aren’t typically seen as embodying strength of masculinity in and of themselves. Traditional masculine-affirming pursuits do not have to be at the expense of other’s rights, take on a quality of malicious manipulation and oppression, or require a man to rely on them as his sole means for fulfillment. Masculine identity serves men best when it allows space for them to thrive in these traditional areas should they choose, but also allows them ample space to enrich their lives through other areas of fulfillment and connectivity. Some men whom I’ve worked with appear to be ‘stuck‘ in the relentless pursuit of boosting one or more of these traditional areas of masculinity in the hopes of achieving lasting happiness. The theory of masculine overcompensation dates back to Sigmund Freud’s notions of ‘reaction formation‘ and ‘defense mechanisms‘. Some men respond to having their masculinity questioned by emphasizing their expression of traditional masculine traits. In 2013, a group of sociologists put this theory to the test. In Overdoing Gender,” a study for the American Journal of Sociology, men were given feedback suggesting they were ‘feminine’, which led to an increased support for war, homophobic attitudes, interest in purchasing an SUV, support for, and desire to advance in dominance hierarchies, and belief in male superiority. Research from The American Journal of Men’s Health and a host of other studies conclude that the expression of traditional masculine traits can be hazardous for men’s health functioning. William Ming Liu, editor of the journal Psychology of Men and Masculinity describes toxic masculinity as providing a very limited way for men to relate to each other- when boys are socialized to avoid feelings and weakness it increases their overall psychological stress. As a woman and mental health professional, it can be tempting to say “hmmm…have you considered seeking fulfillment from OTHER areas? You’ve already experienced objectively high levels of achievement through these traditional areas, and you’re telling me you’re still unhappy/unsatisfied. Why not pivot and diversify? See if some other areas of personal development could help you feel better/more fulfilled for the long term?” In my professional experience, toxicity can take root in a man’s masculine identity when he gets stuck searching for fulfillment from these 4 traditional areas of masculinity only. Without diversification, it can lead to toxic overdose! In Donald Trump’s case, he keeps going back for more and more like an addict- all of his accomplishments are no longer getting him that desired high, so he keeps upping the ante. Overdosed on orange self-tanner and sporting a shellacked comb over, surrounding himself with garish gold interiors, aggressively forcing himself sexually upon countless women, accruing more debt in the relentless pursuit of financial return, publicly decrying ideas of racial superiority that benefit himself at the expense of others, and finally, seeking political office as the world’s most powerfully influential men. He is feeding his own internal beast and he does not appear to be slowing down. I suspect there is a deep, empty abyss inside his sense of identity that is always starving for increasingly grandiose, self-serving displays of ‘success’. This particular phenomenon of toxic masculinity is not only psychologically unhealthy, but socially destructive when public figures like Donald Trump effectively normalize misogyny, sexism, racism and xenophobia. donald-trump While many American men aspire to experience some degree of his accomplishments in the areas of wealth, power, influence, access and opportunity with beautiful women, it’s important to underscore that these gains alone may very well NOT lead to the level of fulfillment and happiness one might imagine. Encouraging a more well-rounded sense of masculine identity, one that allows room for pursuits that go beyond the traditional male gender constructs will increase men’s opportunity for lasting and balanced happiness. Research by Levant and other psychologists reveal healthy aspects of masculinity might actually protect and improve men’s health. These healthy aspects of masculinity include: Self-Reliance Responsibility (personal, familial, societal) Emotional maturity/emotional intelligence Investing in making a positive impact on society/the environment that is personally meaningful Aiming to grow and diversify oneself in these key areas can help men achieve lasting personal fulfillment beyond traditional masculine pursuits for success. Each are common treatment goals I work on with the high-achieving men in my executive coaching practice. Many have shared with me how rewarding it feels to build upon what they’ve already mastered and thrive in these important life aspirations. Dr. Christina Villarreal is a mental health expert, executive coach, professor and writer practicing in the San Francisco Bay Area. Professional inquiries may reach her at www.drchristinavillarreal.com

Bouncing In Boots For Your Booty

HI Your Fit Day Friends!

Hey! Do you still want to get that sexy summer bod?

Or, maybe you're on the rebound from a joint injury...

Or, maybe you're just looking for that cool piece of equipment that is super fun and will get you fit and lean in a short amount of time...

Or, you just like toys!

OK! So, remember I told you that I would find ways to work out to keep me in super duper shape before my pending hip surgery?

Well, I had this super idea that I could design running shoes with springs on the bottom that would take the impact off my joints and it would be less painful to walk and super fun to use, as well as keep my booty in shape. But then I said, "Hmm! Why invent the wheel when somebody else has done the work for me? Why not ask the Kangoo Jump people to help me?"

So that's what I did.

And I think these Boots were made for YOU!



Boots Not Just Made For Walking!

My first try with the Kangoo jumps was back in June. It had been raining the last couple weeks in May so I had to put trying the boots out on hold. But finally the clouds separated, and the sun shined through and I got off my ball ( I use a stability ball as my desk chair) and decided to hop down to the Lake. No, I hadn't put the boots on just yet. That was actually a pun. And since it takes too long to hobble on my hip, I got in my car and headed 4 blocks to Lake Merritt.
"Another Lake Merrit July Drama Sunset"

But something compelled me to take a detour and instead I drove over to the Piedmont High School track where there wouldn't be any stray ducks, dogs or pelicans underfoot; I could count on level ground; and there was no chance of bouncing into the lake...with the pelicans.

"Pelicans at Lake Merritt, Oakland, CA"

I'll tell you this: in retrospect, walking down the steps to the track in my Chaco sandals and getting onto the track was actually the hardest part. Because once I put on the Kangoo Jumps it was shear joy to 'walk' and 'run' and just be able to amble pain free.

Check These Out

All Kangoos are a cool, ninja, space age ski/roller blade-like boot design with cambered curved springs on the bottom. And they're reasonably light, and lighter than roller blades-well, at least my roller blades-with just enough weight to give you the right amount of stability and a good workout. I mean, you're still lifting boots with every hop!

"My feet in Kangoo Jumps"

Getting into them was pretty quick and easy. Adjusting the cleats no problem. Figuring out the pressure to secure them was hit or miss and I probably will need a few more romps before they feel comfortable around the shin.

The track wasn't crowed but just carrying the boots in my hand drew attention to me. I wasn't going to complain about that. I'm a fitness diva, remember!

In fact, I'm hoping that I can get more people involved in using these boots and coming to my bootcamps. (HA! HA! Boot Camps! Kangoo Style!)

Once I had them securely on my feet I was like the Jolly Green Giant. I was amazed at how stable they were. Everyone kept asking me if I felt like I would topple over or twist my ankle. Absolutely NOT. Have you ever felt like you would fall over in ski boots? (assuming the ski is not attached to the boot and you're not ripping down a mountain). There is absolutely no inclination to fall over. And that is a good thing! seeing that I'm only planning on having ONE surgery.

Giving It a Go On My Kangoo Jumps

Because this was my first adventure out in my Kangoos I didn't want to over do it. They say to hop around, up and down, break them in. So I tried that, but was pretty tentative, babying my hip. But I soon realized that the boots actually roll you forward and the impact isn't directly on your hip. So I became more bold, and set off down the track... at a slow run. And behold, I was bouncing with no burn in my joint.

The track is 1/4 mile around. After three times around-running, walking, hopping, and repeating that-I was already working up a sweat and I could feel my running muscles in my legs-the ones I hadn't worked in that running way since December '10- start to come alive. I felt alive! And free........

I spent 15 minutes Kangooing and by the time I stopped I felt like I had instead sprinted up a mountain. It was that good of a workout and my legs and glutes felt pumped. All without any pain in my hip joint. In fact, my hip feels better in these boots running and walking than I do ambling, or more like hobbling right now, on my own two feet, whether in my shoes or Vibram 5 Fingers.

Here's a video of me in San Francisco bouncing in my boots:



Putting The Spring Back Into Your Life

The Kangoo Jumps are designed to take up to 80% of the impact off your joints. So for those of you who have osteoarthritis in your hips or knees (I'm not sure about back pain but you can check out their website) and have had to give up your favorite sport or activity you may have a second chance. So I highly recommend these Kangoo Jumps for anyone who has had to give up their favorite impact activity, things like hiking, trekking, and even martial arts, due to joint pain in their knees and hips and possibly back. Because you can do all of these sports in Kangoo Boots. Obviously do your research and consult with your doctor first. I certainly did before I started using them.

In fact, I contacted one of the leading hip surgeons in the world, Dr. Koen De Smet, to get his opinion and approval. And after he reviewed the website he said that they were suitable for what I wanted to do, and as long as it I didn't hurt I was fine.

Boots for your Booty

I have to admit I was getting a bit soft in the inner thigh and butt since I wasn't able to run in the hills or do any of the sprint training that I love to do for the past several months. But in the past month I have seen a noticeable difference in the tone of my inner thighs, quads and butt and the Kangoo jumps have miraculously toned up my legs in just this short amount of time.

And here's a bonus for those of you who have some extra weight to lose: They say that you burn twice as many calories using the Kangoo Boots and that 30 minutes in your Kangoos is like an hour in your normal training shoes. That's not hard to believe. After bouncing around San Francisco and Lake Merritt for just 30 minutes a pop these past few weeks it felt like I had done a six mile trail run in the Berkeley hills.

So, not only are these a great workout, burn calories, tone up your booty, and are a hoot to use, they are a time saver as well. What's not to like about them!

What's Next ?


So, my game plan is to Kangoo Jump for the next two months which will take me up to the week that I leave for overseas for my hip surgery. There will be no more Kangoo jumping for at least 10 months after surgery. But I'll have other exercises that I will be doing to keep our butts in shape, literally!

So be sure to follow my blog, and watch the videos, for more cool stuff that will keep your legs toned, your booty nice and round, and your body fit and lean.

Stay tuned for more Kangoo Jump videos so you can get the 'JUMP on fitness!'

Your Trainer, and Nutrition and Wellness Coach,

DebbyK!

Make it Your Fit Day...

Nation's first face transplant done in Cleveland | ajc.com

Nation's first face transplant done in Cleveland | ajc.com From AP and AJC : “CLEVELAND — A woman so horribly disfigured she was willing to risk her life to do something about it has undergone the nation's first near-total face transplant, the Cleveland Clinic announced Tuesday. Reconstructive surgeon Dr. Maria Siemionow and a team of other specialists replaced 80 percent of the woman's face with that of a female cadaver a couple of weeks ago in a bold and controversial operation certain to stoke the debate over the ethics of such surgery.

The patient's name and age were not released, and the hospital said her family wanted the reason for her transplant to remain confidential. The hospital plans a news conference Wednesday and would not give details until then.”

--- I have to admit I have an issue with this, because I'm wondering about the character of the woman who had her face. It seems like she's taking a new life - someone else's life. But on the other hand, it's better to have a face where people want to approach you than not. The doctors just made sure she would be able to earn a living.

China Discovers Poll Dancing - Video

I'd never considered that poll dancing started to pick up in China! Wow. China! Well, check this out:



It's not an easy thing to do there as it goes against the "code" for women there. "To show off in this way," someone said in the movie," is to make people jealous."

Yep.