Depression and its effect on your sexual relationship by Dr. Christina Villarreal

The hallmark of most new romantic relationships is a passionate physical connection. But when one or both partners suffer from clinical depression, a couple's sexual chemistry can suffer. Approximately 35 to 47 percent of people with clinical depression report having sexual problems. Sexual problems worsen depending on the severity of one's depression; sixty one percent of people with severe depression report having sexual problems. In my practice as a clinical psychologist, problematic sexual functioning is a common complaint of people seeking treatment for depression and anxiety.

What leads to the reduction of sexual functioning in those experiencing depression?

The human brain is the body’s most powerful "sex organ." Sexual desire begins in the brain, shaping our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Chemicals in the brain called neurotransmitters help brain cells communicate with each other in order to stimulate blood flow to the sex organs. In a depressed person, their neurotransmitters are out of balance, which can lead to diminished sexual desire. In addition, low levels neurotransmitters can dull a person's ability to experience pleasure, both physical and emotional.

Are men and women's sexual functioning affected differently by depression?

Both men and women suffering from depression describe experiencing a host of the following symptoms:

-intense sadness that inhibits one's ability to carry out daily activities
-loss of interest in things that were previously enjoyable
-changes in appetite, weight, and/or sleep patterns
-feelings of guilt, irritability and worthlessness
-loss of energy, feeling slowed down, or 'keyed up'
-impaired concentration
-thoughts of death or suicide.

But some important gender differences may be found in how people experience depression. Many men fail to identify themselves as clinically depressed because they don't relate to feeling sadness. Their depressive symptoms may only include feelings of tiredness, inability to concentrate or sleep well, hopelessness, as well and loss of interest or pleasure- all of which may be associated with loss of libido and erection problems.

For women, depression can commonly be experienced as feelings of sadness, feeling physically slowed down, worthlessness, and/or guilt along with loss of interest or pleasure- all of which can lead to lack of interest in sex and/or difficulty in reaching orgasm.


Helpful tips in coping with a relationship impacted by depression:

Seek out professional consultation. Many people are reticent to reach out for professional help because they feel they ought to be able to overcome problems on their own, or worry about the financial or time commitment of psychotherapy. But an experienced mental health professional will be able to use their expertise to establish what type of support and resources are best suited for you, given your personal, familial and medical history. A consultation can typically take place in 1-3 visits, after which, you should have a clear picture of what your options are for improvement. Evidence-based treatment such as Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) may be suggested for you, a widely accepted form of treatment for clinical depression.
Try to avoid saying "I know what you're going through" to your partner. You don’t. Instead, try: 'I can't know exactly how you're feeling, but I am trying very hard to understand and help.'
Take care of yourself. Being in a relationship with a depressed person can be incredibly taxing, so make sure you do whatever it is that helps you feel healthy and happy. See friends, get in touch with your body through enjoyable physical activity, pursue your own interests and goals, and spend some time away from your partner. Depressed people often want to stay home and/or isolate themselves from the world. If you attempt to join them in this pattern, you're sure to end up feeling badly too.
Try not to take your partner's lack of sexual interest personally. This is crucial to staying invested in making the relationship work. If you come to believe that your partner will not ever regain their sexual interest, you may end up terminating the relationship before determining if treatment can help.

If you are interested in learning more about this topic, please join Dr. Villarreal, who will be co-leading a free workshop hosted by Nenna Joiner at Feelmore510 , an adult retail boutique located in the Uptown District of downtown Oakland, CA. Workshop will take place Sunday, August 14th from 2-5 pm. Both single adults and couples welcome. Professional referrals and inquires may be made at www.drchristinavillarreal.com

Safeway Rockridge Oakland - A Talk With Ken Lowney

The controversial proposal to build a new, expanded Safeway Rockridge Oakland complex has gone on for something like five years and three major design changes. The last time I weighed in on this design, it was because the product was awful. This time that's changed, as has the economic climate.

I talked to Ken Lowney, of Lowney and Associates Architects about what I think is an exciting new design that adds up to be a net plus for Rockridge. It also has the added advantage of having been created by a person in Mr. Lowney who actually lives in Rockridge. Because of that, "it's a very personal project for me," he says.

As the video shows, the new Safeway Rockridge Oakland is a far cry from the original plan. It actually fits and conforms to its surroundings, and provides a gift in the form of a triangular over-look cafe on the corner of Claremont and College Avenue.

But that's design; my background is in city planning, and my specialization is in urban economic development. The fact is that, in a Bay Area with double-digit unemployment in many counties, and hovering between 15 percent and 17 percent in Oakland, we need to build this complex.

It's not 2008 any more. We're in the middle of a massive Worldwide credit crunch that not only shows no signs of loosening up, it's buttressed by a terrible virus of anti-spending rhetoric, the timing of which is so bad it may plunge this economy into recession.

It's time to change our views and make sure that we in Oakland have as much new business in the economic pipeline as possible.

Please support this project.

Ashley Hebert Bachelorette Blog Gets Race-Hate Emails

Yesterday's Zennie62Blog.com blog called " Ashley Hebert, Bachelorette Picks White Guy From Group Of White Guys" where I blasted the show for failing to have a diverse cast like that of Big Brother, the CBS show which won the Sunday ratings race over the ABC show, got some racist emails.

Say, one good thing, the men who wrote like Ashley Hebert. But if she were to be seen with a black guy, I suppose all that would end. Sad - for them. The civilized World doesn't care at all.

One person, who didn't read my blog post well at all, wanted me to defend all-black shows, even though I wrote this:

And in case you’re wondering, if The Bachelorette was all black, I’d say the same thing. I don’t like racial segregation, or television programs that quietly promote it via the images shown, although I do support the need for America to see a slice of black life in the USA, given the history of discrimination that’s worked to keep such images off TV, that is, until the last 30 years. (But even then, you can’t tell the African American story is a racist vacuum. It just doesn’t hold water.)

Once I reminded him of that paragraph, he became a different person and calmed down. But that written, I do like BET. Moreover, I didn't say I disliked the Bachelorette as a concept, just how it's produced.

One thing I'll say, is that man who sent the email - and the emails were all from men and presumably white, given their stance and anger, as I didn't ask for a photo - didn't use the N-word, and seemed capable of a reasonable exchange. But he was the only person for which that was the case, and the others I didn't bother.

Like Larry Kyper who's email is muslimscum@inorbit.com This is what Larry sent:

Hey you forgot one more possibility. Maybe she doesn't care to breed with a fucking NIGGER.
Or be beat, cut ,slashed, murdered or simply have a useless APE lying around her home getting
ready to put an end to her credit rating. You niggers see racism everywhere you look.

You niggers seem to forget you represent only 13% of the population that means we should
only have to see 13 niggers for every 100 beautiful White personypu see on TV. What more do you want,
ALL of daytime TV is devoted to niggers who else is sitting at home watching the idiot box while people
are supposed to be at WORK. Worthless niggers of course.

Whatever.

I could fill up this post with more examples - oh, why not one more.

I present to you, David D. Huff who's at david.huff@computer-critters.com, and according to a search that took all of 3 minutes, the President of Computer Critters Inc of Hudson, Ohio (Interesting how many of these emails come from companies, which shows you what some people do at work, not to mention gives you a window into what that cubicle worker might think about you, especially if you're black.)

Here's Mr. Huff:

WTF BOY sounds like you got a personal problem, you got niggers in every TV program.

Take the hint BOY she is white she wants a WHITE MAN!

Take to heart and pray to God we never tangle.

Tangle? Wild, man.

As is evident by these, and other emails - and I will "out" people who send communications that express race hatred - there are people who can't stand the diverse American society around them. It's important to know who these folks are, because we don't want to see a repeat of the Oslo, Norway shooting on American soil.

I hold out hope that these men, and the others, have better hearts than reflected to me. I also hope the Bachelorette producers, and ABC, can see how they're playing into the racist desires of some in America.

Time to stop.

Stay tuned.

Debt Limit - Macroeconomic Reason For Its Increase Using IS LM Model

This is a vlog unlike any other I've made before. The idea is to use a long-standing economic model called "IS / LM" to explain why the debt limit must be increased by August 2nd. The IS / LM curve was created in 1937 by Sir John Hicks, and has stood the test of time. Why? Because it's held up under a number of data tests.

IS is the name of a curve that represents all forms of macro spending, from government spending to taxes and overall weath. LM is the curve for the supply of money. All I do here is explain a "known" fact - that capping the debt ceiling will cause a decrease in money supply, causing an increase in interest rates, and a drop in overall national income.

But I then explain how that's related to government spending, and why "G" is important. If you disagree with my presentation, make a video of your own using the IS LM Model,and explain why.

http://ping.fm/yOnXO vegan deviled eggs. Notice half are already gone!!! Yum!

Cirque Du Soleil At Comic Con 2011

Awesome show on the wall of a building near the baseball stadium, downtown.

Comic Con 2011 Jeff Fahey, Tony Todd, Mark Hamill On Sushi Girl The Movie

Sushi Girl is a "grindhouse" style movie best, which this blogger is dying to see, and is best described as a dinner over a naked chic that ends badly.

My objective at the Sushi Girl Red Carpet held at Comic Con 2011, was to find out how badly the movie ends! Getting an answer out of Jeff Fahey, Tony Todd, and Mark Hamill was as hard as the abs on its lady star, Cortney Palm.

But I did learn that, according to Mark Hamill, Sushi Girl will make Tony Todd a "really big star." Todd plays the lead role, a guy named Duke, who he says has the kind of "switch" in his head such that if you say the wrong thing, he will "just snap," but who, Todd says, is "charming."

In other words, Tony Todd plays a lovable sociopath.

Unlike the epic, must-see Bellflower movie meetup, this was a standard Red Carpet, which was fine, but the problem was once you got into a talk with, say, Mark Hamill, a PR rep would come by winding her hand as if to say "wrap it up." And while she's doing that - you can see it on the video - Hamill just keeps talking (yeah!).

And that's because Hamill's got a lot to say about his character Crow, who he says is sexist, sadistic, and a lot of terrible things Mark's never played on screen before.

Sushi Girl's got an edge - bring it on.

And I'll have more videos from that red carpet, too.

Oakland News: Facebook Page Blasts CEDA, Initiative Proposed, Upcoming Interviews

There's a lot going on in Oakland, but I'm figuring out that, frankly, this city of mine isn't as socially connected as it likes to think it is.  There are only a handful of bloggers, a small group of people who read them, and few, considering the total population, who use Twitter to tweet or any camcorder to vlog. In short, a lot of information about what happens in Oakland goes without matching content.   Just saying - though I'll say more about this later.

One small Facebook Page group of people is growing organically. Called "Terrorized by CEDA Oakland, CA," it has about 198 "likes" and it's not going to reach massive proportions unless someone connects Oakland's Economic Development boss, Walter Cohen to a sex scandal; I'm just kidding, of course, but you get the idea, given media today, and my opening paragraph.

A problem at the Community And Economic Development Agency CEDA, first reported here and at Oakland Focus by Gwillym Martin, caught the eye of the Alameda County Grand Jury. Now that's all well and good, but the Grand Jury can't throw anyone in jail and it's recommendations are too often alarmingly ignored, especially by the Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum Authority. But this is not about "The Authority," as it's called at times. It's about CEDA.

The Alameda County Grand Jury's report was just released and you can read it here: http://www.acgov.org/grandjury/final2010-2011.pdf . But to save you the trouble of wading through document text, this is the opening paragraph you have to start with:

CITY OF OAKLAND BUILDING SERVICES DIVISION

The 2010-2011 Alameda County Grand Jury received numerous complaints from property owners regarding building inspection fines, protocols, and abusive practices in the city of Oakland’s Community and Economic Development Agency’s (CEDA) Building Services Division (Building Services). These complaints were consistent with issues that had been raised by the 1999-2000 Alameda County Grand Jury wherein they recognized improvement was needed in Building Services. The current Grand Jury’s investigation determined that the recommendations of the previous Grand Jury had not been addressed, and in fact, the situation had deteriorated. The reviews, reports, interviews, and testimony provided to the current Grand Jury indicate that significant reform is needed as set forth in the body of this report.

That's about as bad as it gets, folks.

Here are the complaints listed in the Grand Jury report:

1. inconsistent standards for citing blight and nuisance/substandard violations;
2. lack of timely and understandable notice of violations;
3. lack of clarity about the abatement process;
4. difficulty in contacting and working with inspectors;
5. inconsistent evaluations by different inspectors working on the same case;
6. unprofessional, retaliatory and intimidating treatment by inspectors;
7. excessive and exorbitant fees, fines and liens;
8. unclear and ineffective appeals process that is sometimes ignored by
Building Services personnel;
9. lack of a reasonable amount of time to comply and take corrective
measures;
10. impropriety in the selection of abatement contractors, including
allegations of ethical violations in awarding contracts and a lack of transparency;
11. citizens feel discouraged from correcting blighted or substandard properties because it is too difficult and expensive to work with Building Services.

And some of the examples of mistreatment of the Oakland community are hair-raising, even if you don't have hair. Here's an example:

One property owner received a warning notice threatening large fines if abatement did not occur. The owner did not understand because the property was well kept. The owner discovered that an employee of the city’s Keep Oakland Beautiful Program gave a packet of blank warning notices to a neighbor who then distributed the notices throughout the neighborhood. The property owner then received a formal citation from Building Services regarding “offensive plant overgrowth” and then filed a written appeal that was misplaced by the city. The owner subsequently trimmed a shrub and the inspector told her by phone to disregard the notice. The owner asked for written confirmation of dismissal and the inspector refused. The property owner scheduled a re-inspection and the inspector failed to appear.

You can read the rest of the report for yourself. But, really, even with the Grand Jury's findings and recommendations, it's going to take an initiative process to change things.

An initiative?

That's something proposed by a group of Oakland citizens, but I don't have much more in terms of what the initiative would consist of. They're in the process of gathering signatures, I'm told, and I as I get more information, I'll share it with you. In my conversations with my source, my bet was that they would not get too far, but I could be wrong. I'm being deliberately cryptic here for a reason. More later.

Upcoming Interviews: Kaplan, Russo, Schaaf

Last week, I conducted three long interviews with Oakland's At Large Councilmember Rebecca Kaplan, Alameda City Manager John Russo, and new Oakland Councilmember Libby Schaaf. The Kaplan and Russo videos will be up today; Libby's I have to redo and because somehow I lost my Flip Video Camera. Cried? Hell, yeah!

It fell out of my shoulder bag, and because I put it there, rather than in my pocket, as I usually do. I'm toying with the idea of using my new iPhone for all video-blogging, but the Flip is easier to hold and use. (I still have four camcorders, when you count the iPhone, but still the Flip was the best one.) Anyway, that aside, the Libby interview was classic, but we can recreate that magic again. In all, what I discovered was that Kaplan, Russo, and Schaaf, are all focused on how to do more with scarce resources. It's a new position for all elected officials to be in, but it governs their thinking on a lot of issues.

That aside, and on the matter of the City Attorney, Kaplan and Schaaf think the pay scale, set at what's calculated in the City Charter, should be maintained. Russo says Oakland can't get a good person at the level of pay that results - about $165,000. Libby sternly offers that she took a pay cut but did so because she loves Oakland.

My take sides with Russo. Libby's a gem - there just aren't a lot of Libby's running around. So, Oakland has to make sure it's able to attract the best candidates for what is, and should be, an elected position. Not appointed.

Stay tuned.

San Francisco CPMC Hospital Protest At City Hall - Mayor's Office Absent

On Friday, San Francisco City Hall got a visit from some "Angry Birds" in the form of supporters of an effort to build a new California Pacific Medical Center Hospital at Cathedral Hill. What has been described as a "complex," six-year negotiating battle, has evolved to the point where CPMC, upset that community opposition is standing in the way of job creation, called out as many people as it could collectively get it's hands on - employees, spouses and significant others of employees, and even kids - to come to San Franciso's City Hall and show support on it's steps.

What's the problem?

At issue is something called The Cathedral Hill Facility (pictured at left). What the nonprofit California Pacific Medical Center wants to do is build the $1.9 billion edifice and it wants to rebuild the St. Luke’s Hospital in the Mission district, said to be "aging."

But the sticking point, according to The San Francisco Examiner, is that San Francisco Mayor Ed Lee has asked for $108 million from the CPMC to mitigate impacts to affordable housing and traffic, and asked the CPMC to contribute $34 million a year in charity care benefits to lower-income patients, in addition to its contribution of $86 million in 2009. CPMC says the Mayor's proposal is not feasible for their cost / revenue structure.

At the protest, the supporters, like Steve Falk, the CEO of The San Francisco Chamber of Commerce, as you can see in the video, talked about the jobs that would be provided with the new hospital. This need not be a "complex" issue: unemployment, at over 10 percent in most Bay Area counties, and just over 8 percent in San Francisco, is a problem. And under-employment, where people just take a job to make money, rather than earning what they need for a proper existence, is an even larger, yet insanely not officially documented problem.

If you think about it, we have people who are well-paid, making decisions that impact people who aren't well paid. It's easy for someone to screw around when it's their goose that's not being cooked.

Mayor's Office Unresponsive

During Friday's protest, this blogger made a quick walk over to the San Francisco Mayor's Office, expecting that someone would be able to offer a statement. What I got was weird for a Mayor's Office.

Now, I like Ed Lee, always have, so this is not personal. But he can correct it.

I walked into an environment where there were five guys at the desks, two on the phones, two others talking to staffers, and the fifth person reading. Two of the men got off phones, and one of them looked at me and said "You can talk to anyone of us." So I asked to get a statement on the protest going on, outside.

Such a request is a matter of routine for a Mayor's Office to handle. It takes a few seconds, and a savvy office would already have a one-sheet ready for the press, upon request. Not so here; the man said "They're all out to lunch. You need an appointment."

Wow. That's a new one. No offer to call the spokesperson - nothing. I didn't waste time - I left the office, and made note of the encounter on the video.

And why can't the Mayor's Office get any women in there? In all of my years that's the first time I've seen a totally-male-staffed Mayor's Office main greeting room. They got something against women?

But I digress.

The Mayor and San Francisco Supervisor David Campos are doing business-as-usual in a weak economy. It's a time of budget cuts, layoffs, and shrinking spending. To stem that tide of economic shrinkage, the Mayor and the Supervisor should give a little more than they have thus far.

Stay tuned.

Brandi Chastain Is Hot and Buffed On ESPN!

Brandi Chastain Is Hot and Buffed On ESPN!, a photo by zennie62 on Flickr.

Blue Cross California Uses False Data To Reject Applicant

Blue Cross of California is full of it. This blogger, seeking lower health care costs than the half-million dollars Kaiser was charging each month (really almost $500), quit Kaiser, and applied to join Blue Cross of California and under what seems to be a far more reasonable plan.

But Blue Cross of California doesn't want you, er me, to have the plan, it seems. They claim to reject me for a "male reproductive system" problem. That's bullshit. And simply because I never told Blue Cross I had such a problem, and they never tested me, not even a blood test.

By contrast, Kaiser actually bothered to send someone over to my place, take a blood sample, and test me. Maybe that's why the cost was so high? But whatever, Kaiser never rejected me, let alone said I had a "male reproductive system" problem.

But Blue Cross?

Now I see what the company's doing. In an interview they conducted with me about two weeks ago, almost, the interviewer kept asking questions that had nothing to do with my application. He also asked me if I'd ever used a chiropractor. I said "yes" but not regularly. I explained there was a chiropractor at my gym who occasionally offered to adjust my back - why not, I figured? The interviewer kept asking me about that - that's not cool and not right.

It's not right for Blue Cross to have it's employees make up data and stories to reject you. It's not right for Blue Cross of California to even allow itself to be seen as doing that. What Blue Cross does is figure that you're not going to talk about "sensitive information" and probably gets away with murder (if you will) on the assumption that people aren't going to yell and scream about how Blue Cross is treating them, because the person doesn't want to talk about their "condition."

Look, as they say on the street, "my stuff works," OK?

What Blue Cross of California is asking me to do is go in and pay to have a physician check me out, then tell them don't have a problem. So, what am I supposed to do, go in with my girlfriend, screw her in front of the doc, then say "See, it works!"

Yeah, right. But that's one scenario Blue Cross of California sets up.

Blue Cross of California should be ashamed. But it also should stop doing this. It's unethical to treat applicants that way. Kaiser had me, so there's no reason Blue Cross of California should not have me too.

Stay tuned.

San Francisco Marina Pub Crawl At Circa Is Wacky Fun