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Over at Huffington Post I read with great interest and some initial agreement on David Letterman and Stephanie Birkitt, Julie Menin's blog entitled "Letterman: A Setback for Women", then I thought yet again about all the workplace romances I've seen over the years, be it equals or boss female with employee male, and so on and was reminded yet again of what I call "The Big Lie" and last night's episode of "The Office".
This is going to be misunderstood on some fronts, but it's worth getting out there because really Julie has a rather cartoonish and black and white idea of what happens in the workplace. It's no wonder that one study on office flings estimated that 40 percent of workers dated co-workers at some point over the years. That's almost one out of every two people.
I was reminded of that just yesterday at Oakland's great tavern Cafe Van Kleef when I wound up in a conversation with two patrons, one male and the other female who were new workers at a government office in downtown Oakland. This was their third week on the job and decided to go out for a beer or two - it was two.
At any rate, it was obvious that he was interested in she because he asked her what her plans were for the night or words to that effect, and she said "I'm supposed to meet friends. I'm a woman in demand" to which we all started laughing.
Now I never got the idea that he was her boss, but then I didn't ask. We did talk about the David Letterman issue and they said basically that while its not good to date someone in the office, it does happen a lot. After some more chatting, they left. She to meet her friends, and he to contemplate what he wanted to do with her.
That scene replays itself again and again. Sometimes it leads to a one-night stand on those sales trips workers go on. In other cases, it leads to marriage, even on "The Office."
Last night's episode, the wedding of Jim and Pam, was classic. As a momentary aside, I've always been interested in The Office, but that one caused me to be a fan. It was funny in such a "real" way that I could pick out scenes from my own life in it.
But the fact is that Jim and Pam worked together. That's how they met: in the office. No one moved them to separate rooms or anything like that, and America became obsessed with the "Will they or won't they" question, which was finally answered.
Would it have been different if they were boss and employee. Maybe. Depends. I know of a good friend who's wife was at one point while they were dating his assistant. As things heated up, he moved her to a different department of the the firm they worked for. Of course that was a decade ago; they're happily married and with kids.
There are so many stories of successful office romances that it's really horrible to take David Letterman's situation and say its a "setback for women" as if every woman really is effected by it, let alone really cares. In reality it's just another example of how men and women are meeting, hooking up, and marrying in "The Office."
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