Monday, February 22, 2010

Miley Cyrus, Zac Efron, Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart to present at Oscars

If anyone wondered if The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences was serious about reversing the Oscars ratings decline of the past decade, today's news should prove AMPAS is: Miley Cyrus, Zac Efron, Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart are to present at the 82nd Academy Awards.

Miley Cyrus

The news - sure to be repeated in teen-oriented publications on Monday - was announced by telecast producers Adam Shankman and Bill Mechanic.

It's the first time for Twilight stars Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart; Miley Cyrus, Zac Efron are both appearing on the Oscars for the second time.

For Miley Cyrus, it's more great exposure on the heels of her next film The Last Song with Greg Kinnear.

And Miley Cyrus was featured in the new version of the We Are The World song, this one for Haitian Relief. As was reported in this space on video, the daughter of Billy Ray Cyrus "killed it".



For Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart, becoming an Oscars presenter means both are certified BIG STARS, in case either one of them had any doubts.

Taylor Lautner


But the announcement that Miley Cyrus, Zac Efron, Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart are all presenting at the Academy Awards is also proof of the impact of New Media on The Oscars.

 At a time when the public gains most of its information from online sources, these young stars drive Internet traffic which also translates into TV ratings for those shows that feature them, which then means more Internet traffic to websites that know how to show them.

This news is also why Oscar needs a Twitter account. Miley Cyrus, Zac Efron, Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart are all either active on Twitter or the focus of tweets. Here's one example:


QUE?! RT @JustJared: Miley Cyrus, Zac Efron, Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart will present at the Oscars next month!
Boyinblue - twitter.com - 11 minutes ago


Hopefully AMPAS makes an Oscar Twitter account and soon; the 82nd Academy Awards is in just less than two weeks.

The Obama health care plan - a closer first look

The White House released the Obama health care plan without a "Public Option" and with a specific desire to achieve an "up or down" vote according to White House Communications Director Dan Pfeiffer who was on the conference call with reporters this Monday morning. The White House gave the major points of change in the Obama health care plan in their presentation:


-It makes insurance more affordable by providing the largest middle class tax cut for health care in history, reducing premium costs for tens of millions of families and small business owners who are priced out of coverage today. This helps over 31 million Americans afford health care who do not get it today – and makes coverage more affordable for many more.
-It sets up a new competitive health insurance market giving tens of millions of Americans the exact same insurance choices that members of Congress will have.
-It brings greater accountability to health care by laying out commonsense rules of the road to keep premiums down and prevent insurance industry abuses and denial of care.
-It will end discrimination against Americans with pre-existing conditions.
-It puts our budget and economy on a more stable path by reducing the deficit by $100 billion over the next ten years – and about $1 trillion over the second decade – by cutting government overspending and reining in waste, fraud and abuse.


According to the Huffington Post, the White House' Pfeiffer says the President looks at this as their "best shot at bridging the differences. We think this makes some strong steps to improving the final product. It is our hope the Republicans will come together around their plan and post that online prior to the meeting so that the American people have a chance to go look at it... and be thoroughly informed heading into this meeting."

"This meeting" is Thursday's bipartisan health care reform summit. Even as the Obama health care plan is seen as a "Democratic effort" the White House says Republicans will have a chance to amend it. One part of the Obama health care plan Republicans reportedly don't seem to like is the plan to control insurance rate increases.

The new legislation, initially proposed by California Senator Diane Feinstein, would give the Health and Human Services Department power to oversee and if necessary eliminate rate increases seen as too high. The "Feinstein Provision", as this blogger calls it, would result in a new organization called The Health Insurance Rate Authority.

Jon Walker over at FireDogLake.com thinks it's not a serious proposal and just "potentially cynical politics"; i disagree. The Health Insurance Rate Authority gets right at the main problem in health care costs - insurance rate increases.

Republicans have not offered an alternative plan, and will cry that the The Health Insurance Rate Authority is just more government control. But as any real economist will tell you, government in a democracy exists to make sure "market forces" are not acting against the welfare of the populace.

 The Health Insurance Rate Authority is something that both Democrats and Republicans who really want to fix health care should get behind. Kudos to Senator Feinstein for developing an alternative that's a worthy replacement of the Public Option.

If you want to read the Obama health care plan, download a copy here: Obama Health Care Plan.

Stay tuned.

American Red Cross $175 million in unallocated Haiti donations - update

On the matter of the American Red Cross and the $175 million in unallocated Haiti donations, this update: there's still no word from the American Red Cross on how the $175 million in donations was handled. Initial attempts to gain an answer have been ignored as of this writing.

Meanwhile, the issue is gaining attention. This blogger was on a Fairfield, Iowa radio broadcast last Friday and more radio talk shows have expressed unsolicited interested in the matter of the American Red Cross and the $175 million in unallocated Haiti donations.

For background, it's simple: the American Red Cross reported it collected $225 million in donations over the first month of the Haiti Relief Effort. But of that, $80 million was spent or earmarked for Haiti. The American Red Cross does not explain what happened to $225 million minus $80 million, or $175 million?

On Friday, I was on KRUU, "The Voice of Fairfield" in Fairfield, Iowa, on James Moore's Planet Erstwild Show to talk about the American Red Cross donation problem. Here's the recording of that radio show: Zennie Abraham on KRUU.

This is the Zennie62 video on the issue:



Stay tuned.

Lindsey Vonn on Tiger Woods and Sex: Julia Mancuso should see this



Lindsey Vonn is now a decorated 2010 Winter Olympic Games Gold Medalist and a sex symbol But when Lindsey Vonn offers her view on Tiger Woods' speech and (no) press conference, and his sex scandale, she says way too much.



In Friday's TIME Online Edition, Lindsey Vonn got off a joke about Tiger Woods in the wake of his speech held that day. Of course, Vonn has a point of view like anyone else, but she forgot that she has more in common with Tiger Woods than she realizes. First, as Woods is considered the "Best Golfer in the World", Lindsey Vonn's called the "Best Woman Skier Ever".

Second, well, this is what TIME's Sean Gregory reported and we'll take it from there:



And like millions of Americans, Vonn can't help poking fun at Woods' staged event. When a member of her Vonn-tourage tells her that Woods gave a few friends hugs after ending his statement, she cracks, "They're like, 'Yeah, you're awesome, you go have that sex.' " The room breaks into a laugh. Then she describes a skit she would want to perform if asked to host Saturday Night Live: picture Vonn at Woods' podium, blue backdrop and all. "There's something you don't know about me," Vonn says in a faux solemn, apologetic voice. "Tiger, you're like my idol, and I too have a sex problem." More laughter. "That would be freaking funny."

That Tiger Woods' blast caused this blogger to think about Lindsey Vonn's new image - that of sex symbol and caused in part by the Sports Illustrated photos she took for the Olympics.



You see two of them here in this blog post. Lindsey Vonn clearly enjoyed what she was doing as a sexy exhibitionist of sorts, so ranting on about Tiger Woods' misfortune - or for that matter implying that she's more wholesome than fellow skier Julia Mancuso (who has no issues with showing skin) - can only cause one to want to look more closer at her.

That's especially true when Vonn says what appears in the TIME account below:

When asked how she will deal with sports celebrity in the post-Woods world, in which the tabloids, websites and televisions cameras can threaten even a pristine reputation, Vonn seems nonplussed. "Well, I'm married — to her ski coach, Thomas Vonn, since 2007 — "so I don't have that problem," she says. "But, um, I guess he's married too." Then she turns serious. "I mean, I guess if you have secrets, you have an issue. I've kind of been open about everything."

First, Lindsey Vonn married her ski coach, which means that before the relationship became a marriage there was the "teacher and student" love connection that certainly had to raise eyebrows. But one has to wonder if Lindsey felt the same level of "entitlement" that Tiger Woods said he felt and that fueled his actions? In other words, she did it because Thomas Vonn was a "skier" and a "teacher" and she filled in every cognitive blank she could think of to justify what others would question.



Moreover, Vonn's father Alan Kidlow reportedly disliked her relationship with then-boyfriend Thomas Vonn, and she hasn't talked to Kidlow in "four years."

According to The Washington Post, Alan Kidlow has watched his daughter skate online and is very proud of Lindsey Vonn. One would think it's the perfect time for both to get together and make up. But Lindsey's not talking about that, and that's why I'm pointing out that for her to make fun of Tiger Woods is just plain wrong. She hasn't been open about everything, just "kind of open" about everything. Yet, she points a finger at Tiger Woods and wants to make fun of his situation? Not good.

Lindsay Vonn has to know that people who live in glass houses don't throw stones. Lindsay's got a big glass house now and it's approaching the size of that of Tiger Woods'; Vonn's got to put the stones away before it's too late.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

YouTube video channel Zennie62 reaches 12 million video views

The YouTube video channel Zennie62 has reached 12 million video views and 200,000 channel views as of Saturday, February 20th, and continuing a pattern of rapid growth that started in 2009 and has continued through 2010. Zennie62 on YouTube also has over 4,000 subscribers.

The YouTube video channel Zennie62 consists over 800 videos covering everything from politics to news, sports, tech, and entertainment and celebrity gossip. Zennie62 on YouTube is connected to the blog Zennie62.com, also at Zennie2005.blogspot.com. The Zennie62 blog is the center publication of a network of 100 blogs ran by Zennie62.com, of which this blogger, Zennie Abraham, is the executive producer.

The idea of Zennie62 is to bring "pure form video blogging" to the viewer. It's the simple practice of talking to the audience through a camcorder to tell a story or share a point of view, or as part of an interview with someone else. As video-blogging does not call for an elaborate set or expensive equipment, it can be done anywhere, at any time.

Here's one of Zennie62's most popular videos, this one on Susan Boyle:



And here's another one called "Fight in SF Fillmore":



Some of the videos are used for his national TV show The Blog Report with Zennie62 on CoLoursTV, DISH 9407.

Plans for 2010 include the upcoming NFL Draft Combine and The Academy Awards. Zennie62 has its first designated Associate Video-Blogger and seeks to form a team of video-bloggers in different cities. If you're interested, send an email to zennie@zennie62.com

Kathryn Bigelow wins BAFTA Best Director and Best Film for The Hurt Locker

Kathryn Bigelow, who's great movie The Hurt Locker has taken the pre-Oscar Awards season and a lot of Oscar Buzz,  by storm, has just won the BAFTA (British Academy of Film and Television) Best Director Awards for The Hurt Locker according to MSNBC.com.

Kathryn Bigelow is the first woman to win Best Director at the BAFTA's. Here's the interview with Bigelow at the BAFTA site: Interview.

Kathryn Bigelow was up against a number of well-aclaimed film directors including her former husband James Cameron who produced and directed Avatar.

The Hurt Locker also won six awards, for best film, editing and sound, original screenplay and cinematography.

More from the BAFTA's in the next blog post. But a special congratulations to Kathryn Bigelow for being the first woman to win such a coveted award and for such an amazing film as The Hurt Locker.  With the win, Bigelow's arguably in line to win Best Director and The Hurt Locker Best Picture at the 82nd Annual Academy Awards.

Andrew Koenig - Walter Koenig's son "AK-47" still missing

Andrew Koenig, the former star of Growing Pains, and Never Not Funny, and the son of Walter Koenig from Star Trek TOS, is still missing.

According to E!Online, Andrew Koenig (sometimes called AK-47) missed a flight back to the United States from Vancouver, B.C., and has not been seen since. The website Maximum Fun appears to have a relationship with Andrew Koenig and a mutual friend Dave Holmes, who reports:

Andrew Koenig (AK-47, the video guy on “Never Not Funny,” and “Boner” from “Growing Pains”) has been missing for a week, last seen 2/14 in Vancouver. Didn’t make his flight back to the US on 2/16. The Vancouver Police are involved, and lots of people are looking. Could you reblog this and help get the word out? And say some prayers or think some positive thoughts?

Reportedly, Andrew Koenig has been missing since Valentine's Day, February 14th. According to TMZ.com, his father Walter Koenig reports that Andrew was battling severe depression.

Koenig's friend Jenny Magenta, who said Andrew stayed with her in Vancouver, posted this message on Facebook:

Hi everyone..we are trying to locate Andrew.

He left Jen and Jesse's in TO on the 10th and went to Vancouver and stayed with me and Jay .

He was sched to fly to LA on the 16th but didn't take his flight.

His parents have contacted us as he hasn't arrived and they have evidence that he his severely depressed. The police are involved and have a lot of information already.

As a favour, I need to ask MY FRIENDS to be patient as I may not be able to contact you back in my usual speedy fashion on FB nor have chats etc. My cell is working again though. Please just know that my focus is on this right now - I will do my best to stay focused and thank you all for any help you may offer.


****There is some evidence that points he may be in the Stanley Park area......but last contact being there doesn't mean is is there....but, wanted to mention it.


*******************If you have seen him, emailed him or had any contact after the 14th/15th or spent time with him during his stay in Vancouver and the police HAVE NOT contacted you yet, please call Detective Raymond Payette and his phone is 604-717-2534 and provide the information you have.

Please do not call 911.

We hope to find him in this busy city of ours and will do all we can.

I would also like to state for the record that he did ask me about my connections with the burlesque community here (as you know I perform sometimes at Sin and other venues and am in that community too) and he was interested in this world....

This may be an angle that he followed - the police are aware of this and please, if you had a meeting with him or a conversation with him that may provide information please contact the Detective.

Thank you all so much.

Thank you and peace.

Hold your loved one's close to you. Never be afraid to ask for help..


Again, if you've seen Andrew Koenig contact Detective Raymond Payette of the Vancouver Police at 604-717-2534.

Angelina Jolie with Jon Voight, her father, in Italy

Angelina Jolie, currently still happy in marriage with Brad Pitt, was seen with Jon Voight, her father, in Italy, according to TMZ.com and RadarOnline.com She's in Italy with Brad Pitt and their children to start filming The Tourist in March.

Photo credit: TMZ.com


It's really great to see Angelina Jolie with Jon Voight, after she said, in 2002, that "My father and I don't speak. I don't hold any anger toward him. I don't believe that somebody's family becomes their blood. Because my son's adopted, and families are earned."

Angelina Jolie did not explain the reasons for her long separation from her father, but whatever they were, they're gone as the pair are obviously talking again.

It's good to have that patched up. This blogger didn't talk to his father for several years, but repaired the relationship in 1999; he died in 2005. It's always good to make sure you're right with your parents (if that's possible) before they pass on.

Kim Kardashian gets police ticket, outs Federal Air Marshal on Twitter

The amazingly hot Kim Kardashian was the subject of a lot of negative tweets after the reality TV Show star and girlfriend of New Orleans Saints Running Back Reggie Bush outed a Federal Air Marshal using Twitter while on a flight to Los Angeles, then just Saturday got a ticket for driving without a license plate on her car. '

Here's the photo Kim Kardashian put on Twitpic:

Haha @kimkardashian and I just got pulled over! on Twitpic

As for the Air Marshal Twitter incident, Kim Kardashian said he was honest with her, so she decided to tweet the news! All of this works to Kim's advantage as she launches her new show The SPINIndustry tonight, Sunday from 10:30 to 11:00pm on E!.

Kim Kardashian is the executive producer of The SPINIndustry, a show that features "Jonathan Cheban and his right-hand man, Simon Huck, head up a branding public-relations firm that deals with demanding celebrities", as the promotional description reads.

The story is real and The SPINIndustry is a kind of documentary, as Command PR is an actual firm with a cool website. CommandPR specializes in "media buzz" and they've certainly hooked up with the right person in Kim Kardashian.

Stay tuned.

Cal Football's former Defensive Coordinator Bob Gregory on Boise Radio

A YouTuber called Okaydo1 found and recorded an interview on a Boise, Idaho radio station where Bob Gregory, Cal Football's now former Defensive Coordinator, got on the radio show and explained in perhaps too much detail why he left UC Berkeley and Cal Football's Defensive Coordinator position for Boise State and an assistant coach position.


Some of the comments Bob Gregory made can be considered as hitting Berkeley and Cal Football Head Coach Jeff Tedford in the rear as he left the door. The full audio of the interview is below.

Here are some of the Bob Gregory comments that stand out to this blogger:

On why he left Cal Berkeley and the defensive coordinator position for an "as yet unnamed defensive staff position" at Boise State:

Well, you know, I think it all comes down to what's important to ya at certain times of your life. And I loved the University of California. We loved California and the Bay Area. It just grew a little bit increasingly hard to have time with my young family. We were willing to maybe give all the title stuff up, so to speak, to come back here so I had more of a chance to raise my boys. So, there are thing in life that are very important, and you've got to make sure you put things in perspective. My wife and I are fired up to be back here. (Bob Gregory was Boise State's Defensive Coordinator in 2001.)

Bob Gregory said he has "two little boys: an eight-year-old and a five-year-old". Gregory then continues on why Boise State was the place he went to:



I would not have gone anywhere in America. A couple big reasons: Chris Peterson, the head football coach here. He and I go way back. I know what kind of guy he is. I know what kind of program he runs. I know he'a a family guy. I think you can win a lot of football games, as they've done here, and also have time for your family. And some times as football coaches we have a tendency to work, just to work. I think what they do here, is they work smart. And obviously, being in Boise, a great place to raise your family, and maybe have a little bit more room in your house, and being 10 minutes away from work - all those. You know it isn't one thing in particular, just a lot of things that add up to it.


Bob Gregory explains that the the whole process started when he called Boise State Head Coach Chris Peterson about the new staff position and about "some other guys that were interested in the position". And he says asked Peterson what he was looking for, thought about it,talked about it with his wife, and "kept a dialog going for a few days". Eventually, and from what this reads in a short time, Gregory made the move to leave Cal.

Here' the audio recording:



Gregory said, several times in the interview, that it was not because he didn't like California, but that it was the right time to move. Still, his statement about working conditions is on record now, and only can lead to more questions surrounding the whole "Work smart" comment. Is Bob Gregory saying that Cal Head Coach Jeff Tedford doesn't "work smart"?

Sometimes, given the media-dominated era and the small family of college football coaches, the idea that it's better to say less than more is one to maintain. Bob Gregory would have been better off saying less than the ton of words he issued.

Stay tuned.

Gretchen Bleiler and Lindsay Jacobellis at Club Bud Party



If you're wondering where the Olympics party is in Vancouver, follow Gretchen Bleiler, Lindsay Jacobellis, and two Vancouver bloggers to the fun at the Club Bud Party.



And there are two Vancouver-based bloggers who have the Red Carpet pass to all-access fun at the Club Bud Party: Vancity Alley of VancityAlley.com and Rebecca Bollwitt's Miss604.com.

This dynamic duo of blogger has done an outstanding job filing in a void left by NBC and the mainstream media. Friday Night's Club Bud Party was no exception as both bloggers took a lot of photos and made excellent use of their Twitter and Flickr accounts. The only missing social media instrument was YouTube.  Videos from the event were missed.

Johnny Weir


Of course, everyone who follows the Winter Olympics knows the super hot women athletes, snowboarders Gretchen Bleiler and Lindsay Jacobellis.   Both attended Friday Night's event and posed for the cameras on the red carpet.

Gretchen Bleiler
But the Club Bud party had other stars like San Francisco 49ers Tight End Vernon Davis, Sean Wescott (fresh from his gold medal win) came by.

Peter Tork 

Olympics skating hero and gold medalist Johnny Weir (who looks just like a young Peter Tork from The Monkees. Really, Weir does.

Johnny Weir's nose, mouth, and eyes and even their spacing is identical to that of Peter Tork.  And if you've never heard of The Monkees, they were a pre-teen British Band of the 1960s and 70s.)

But Peter Tork would never be caught dead wearing Johnny Weir's gender-bending shirt or really more appropriately described an almost back-less blouse.



 Whatever the case, Johnny Weir gives a new meaning to "figure skating."  With his incredible skating talent and bright future, Johnny Weir's certain to place his own unique stamp on sports culture.

While Johnny Weir's outfit was the talk of Club Bud, it wasn't the only thing going on.

Olympics Legends Carl Lewis and Bonnie Blair stopped by as well as John Hamm from the popular AMC Television Series Mad Men.

John Hamm


 All of these and more celebs -- too many to mention -- in the 18,000 square foot Commodore Ballroom.   Plus, there was a great street party to start things off!

 But what's neat is that Budweiser gave these two great bloggers special access and the result is this great Internet buzz that was missing from NBC's Olympics coverage online and offline.

This - attending over-the-top parties - is what going to an event like the Olympics or the Super Bowl or The World Cup is about.  It's a shame the media doesn't show this side of it as a matter of course.

Enter the bloggers, and Gretchen Bleiler, Lindsay Jacobellis!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Haiti: Things Shift

Even the predawn day began a little differently. The shrill distant stadium cheers of hundreds of Haitian roosters sounded oddly synchronized, as though perhaps they were doing the wave. There were more dogs keeping the beat with incessant, rhythmic barking.



Dogs in Haiti are everywhere underfoot, seemingly ownerless. It is something of a shock, after all the warnings about rabies everywhere, and the need for immediate evacuation if any of your skin is broken, to find one nosing against your leg as you try to walk to the pharmacy area is the day's tightly-controlled clinic-space. All the dogs - all of them - are the lean, feral-looking, arrow-nosed, mottey-colored variety that are never at rest. They nose through trash and scratch at rubble and weave needle-like through the fabric of masses of people. Dogs of the relatively wealthy are just the same, wandering collarless, ribs almost visible through their short mat of fur. They all have the shrill, piercing yapyap that I remember of feral dogs from when I grew up in rural Georgia. There are no woofs, no baying, nothing that we would, if pressed, truly call a bark, which makes me wonder whether they would find our own pampered, exotic, baroque variety of dogs equally odd and a bit disturbing. And these dogs are loved by their owners, who apologize for them, and shoo them out of the way like chickens.



Chickens, too, wander freely in this dense urban city of over 4 million (keep in mind, San Francisco is less than a million). There are no goats, no livestock of any kind, and, frankly, the chickens are bedraggled and pitiful. Actually looking stunted and anorexic instead of just small. Like the dogs, they nose and scratch through rubble, but theirs is a furtive, always at a near panic type of movement, feathers askew as though they haven't had a decent night's sleep in far too long.



We were supposed to be working today in one of the largest constantly collapsing sheet cities (I refused to flatter them with the false-advertising, put-the-best-spin-on-it-possible name of "tent city"). An open area that looks, underneath it all, like it may have originally attempted to be some sort of park - but who knows? It's like trying to imagine the shape and function of a hand from fortune teller bones tipped out of a rattled cup. There are over 2,000 people there, without one single toilet, not even an end-of-a-free-Lady Gaga concert overflowing Portapotty. Crowds of faces glance through a fences railing bars as a woman casually heats a large sizzling shallow hubcap-like metal disc full of boiling oil, preparing to cook, the whole device precariously perched over a propane cannister on top of a waist-high concrete wall as dogs, chickens and children weave and roam behind her. There was a Lombard-street-esque hill rising straight up into the sheet cities, some rare trees on either side of the road shelter prime spots on either side. 2,000 people in there. Imagine what such a thing would be like in San Franscico - Golden Gate park a sea of blue tarp, women who are being raped screaming in the night, and, after a month, disease, dehydration, and diarrhea spreading almost as fast as despair.



But although we sat and stared at it, people boiling past like ants, we never made it into the sheet city. In what seems typical now to me of this type of ever-shifting (even hour-by--hour) relief work, Our organizers were told by the administrators of the area that a new direction was being taken. Efforts needed to be made for Haiti to normalize, for people to return to their lives, and no one wanted this type of sheet city more enshrined. People needed to start using existing hospitals and clinics.



After looking at a situation like that, and hearing that official response, you cannot help but have an urge to guffaw in disbelief. Go back to what lives? Where? On which pile of still-falling dangerous rubble?



But I have to say, brutal as it sounds, after being here only a few days, it may not be completely right, but there may be some truth to that approach for many people here. If only it could be made to work soon enough. The horrors of The Day were just too inhuman. Our gracious and lovely hostess, a principal of a school, confessed that she had not, until we arrived, returned to her seemingly intact and partially functional large home. Until we arrived, the poor woman had spent over a month in a tent (a real tent) on a patch of grass inside a gate in front of her home. She thanked us for helping her walk back inside. She said she could only have done it with all of us there for her, carrying her in with us. All I could think was, but are any of us safe?



Now that we are barred from the sheet mega-city, we need another plan in only a very short time. Our organizers demonstrate yet again how gifted they are at this kind of impossibility. The problem is that we told people we would be there, including a local doctor. People will drag their sick selves, leaving precious bundles of belongings behind, to come to where they think we will be. Word here spreads faster than a tweet.



But there's another gaping need. The amazing duo of Enoch and Jesse have identified a clinic that is losing all its 12 French doctors today, leaving behind 5 Haitian helpers who functioned as nurses, only 1 of whom was an LVN - it's a local clinic that has seen, with the 12 docs and 5 Haitian helpers, at least 200-300 people a day since The Day. The Haitians have been hoping and praying that somehow, some help would appear once the French doctors leave. They are committed to keeping the doors open and seeing the same already-overwhelming numbers, without docs, with only 5 people. Their plan is that they will meet as group each morning and decide how best to treat what may come in, given what they have and know.



So which to choose - the clinic, or the people who we already promised we would be there? It is an agonizing kind of Sophie's choice - all of them needing all of us. We had promised before the trip, for security reasons, before we had to face this kind of need, that we would never split the team up. But we did it. Part of our group went to work with the nurses, and the rest, a larger share because the nurses already had supplies and rooms, went to throw together a site near where we'd originally planned to be.



Who goes where? Because of a touching and gracious modesty among the Haitian women, I have become the sole Pelvic Queen for the vast unfulfillable reproductive needs of the women we see. Since there are female providers among the 5 left at the clinic, I did not go to the clinic. I instead went with the rest of our group to our Plan B site which Enoch and Jesse have found.



Early in the morning, we rumble past yesterday's road and (in only a few hours, since after sunset last night) it's already blocked by 2 women who have erected a mini-supermarket: 2 semi-circles that extend into the road, made of meticulously arranged, tiny piles of damaged fruit that they carefully guard and hover over, adjusting a piece here or there to display it to advantage.

Pool Table Clinic

Pool Table Clinic



Our freshly-indentified SWAT insta-clinic is wonderfully situated - it's a pool hall, next to large, open concrete space packed full of humans and blue tarp. The incongruous pool table sits under rusted, chain-hung pool-hall lights, in a long, narrow, roofed and back-walled corridor with a waist-high front wall, perfect for crowd control.



The problem is that there's at least 100 feet of concrete between us (where we sit idling with our piles of supplies on the bus) and the Pool Hall Corridor clinic. Every single inch of space from here to there is packed with tarp, sheets, children, men, women, pathetically small bundles of belongings - a dented pan, an irreplaceable tiny camp stove, a folded square of tee shirt all visible just at the edge of the first dwelling alone.



The next few minutes are like some bizzare reality show and, even in retrospect, it's hard to decide whether it was cruel or inspiring. Our bus driver plows ahead, a martial arts smoothness to the extreme slo-mo action. Women, men, kids scramble and grab, churning and rolling wave-like away from the massive prow of the bus, leaving behind them a 3-foot swath of naked concrete always between themselves and the oncoming never-slowing bus. There is an odd ballet grace to it, and there are a few stragglers as we finish snow-ploughing our way to the corridor. That's when I see that the stragglers have hastily grabbed twig-tied brooms and are frantically sweeping, trying to make the space look nice for us.



We don't want to waste a minute of daylight, so as they shyly sweep and nod their way ahead of us, we paratrooper in, brawny, well-fed arms toting box after box of supplies.



Intake/triage is at one end. Exit and pharmacy at the other. If you have any claustrophobia, wait until things improve before going to Haiti to do relief work. Even with the wall, a mass of people push forward, beginning to push even against our gun-strapped police security guards.



We are learning and we move fast. Camp beds are simultaneously clanking open, one of our Haitian translators and a Stanford cardiologist moving as seamlessly together as though this were a cath lab. In the rush to make room for us, there is one sad black flipflop and a precisely-draped pair of pale pink panties left behind. Probably irreplaceable. We carefully work around them.



Set-up is hampered only by the pool table owner, who is more jealousy protective of it than the mini-market women were of their fruits. He is very upset when he discovers that someone thoughtlessly left a few ziplock baggies on its massive, tarp-draped, earthquake-damaged edge.



We apologize and roll large blue barrels over, set them upright and put on top a ragged wide sheet of plywood (undoubtedly someone's roof only moments before) to make a pharmacy table.



My Pelvic Palace is in the farthest corner, shaded but airless. We duct-tape every possible loose edge of concealing plastic draped walls.



My fabulous translator and I have, for the first time, a chance and the space to organize our goodies. This woman, MBA candidate, is oddly touched I have put her in charge of all these products. She won't meet my eyes and looks like she might cry when I tell her that she needs, if she doesn't mind doing it, to give it all out - condoms, pads, tampons, birth control pills, that I know when things got crazy busy, or someone was crazy sick, I forgot. She glances at me and I realize that she did indeed notice each and every time I forgot yesterday and I suddenly see myself through her eyes, a careless visitor so rich, so well-off that I could just "forget" something that has such value for a woman who is struggling. I say I don't want to every forget, so could she help me?



We have a smoother, steady day - women with miscarriages from The Day (called, in French, Le Tremblement Du Terre - literally, the name for when the world trembled). I see women who are still bleeding, who still have products of conception inside, a uterus swollen and tender with weeks of hurt. I see a woman who wants to know why her pee is almost green, it's so dark. I ask how much she drinks and am shocked to discover less than a glass a day - that she only pees once a day. But she has access to water, plenty of it, situated as this location is next to a broken water pipe that drips constants. The most alarming thing is that when I begin to earnestly explain (again) that this situation is very "grave," that she could, in fact, die if she doesn't drink, she just looks at me, her expression, dull and flat. Nothing seems to sink in, and she leaves with her bag of goodies and nothing else.



Around eleven in the morning, we discover to our horror the huge problem with our site - there's no toilet. Nothing. People squat in front of the entire crowd of people in one corner of the vast concrete yard. Boys pee in the general direction, kids tumble and play all around. There's no other option - once you step outside the enclosure, there's a steep and sidewalks in all directions. None of which have toilets of any kind. We are getting uncomfortably full, and some of us [read: women] just cannot squat and do it, not even with another woman on the team holding a thin sheet of plastic up. I suddenly have more insight for the plight of the woman who would not drink anything.



We're getting seriously uncomfortable when my translator comes up with the brilliant idea that we pee in the Pelvic Palace, into one of those dark-beige rectangular medical buckets. We each take a turn and I am somewhat shocked when a woman who is a patient, after her evaluation, when she is full of gratitude, insists on carrying it out and emptying it for us. She could not be dissuaded, and thought the whole concept of gloves laughable.



I saw two more women in the afternoon who would not drink - one a young, thin girl with small breast buds. Both of them, also, looked at me with the same flat, expressionless gaze when I explained that in this heat, if you do not drink, you die. I could not begin to imagine what it must take to decide that you can't go on. Dying of thirst, with water all around, is an unimaginable act of despair.



And what do you offer? There is no promise that things will improve. Not anytime soon.



We hurried and hurried and hurried, seeing more people than we expected, all of it going more smoothly than it had before. I was handed a phone in between patients and our organizer, Jesse, was awkwardly calling from a pharmacy where he was trying to buy more menstrual pads. You could hear the embarrassment baking off his voice like heat. "So, I don't know about these kinds - it's not really something I..." "Buy Super," I said, "Or even Super Plus. But not the expensive extra thin ones - we want to get all we can for our money." "So how many should I get?"



I thought for a moment. "All of them."



His voice rose to soprano heights, "All of them?"



So, at the end of our session, my translator decided to give away all the Kotex (clearly the product of choice in Haiti - tampons are more than a little suspect - downright scary to most of the women). A mass of women began to literally run to our half wall. It was the closest we came to a riot. We had to shout for them to line up, to go slowly, that everyone had to take a turn (one of our nurses said, "this is breaking my heart").

Flattened house and local transportation

Flattened house and local transportation




Leaving our clinic space we were, for the first time, surrounding by waving, jumping kids who smiled and shouted the American "HI!" at us.



Each day we have driven past a house that is, foot by foot, falling into our road.



Today it gave way.



Share in the comments section about whether you think these are extreme needs or not - and tune in for the next in the series to get details about the Haiti trip. If you want to donate for supplies or transport, head over to www.docgurleycom for details underlined at the end of this same article. But if you're feeling a tad Haiti-ed out and overwhelmed, never fear, there will be OTHER, non-Haiti, fun health topics in the next few days! Keep up on the latest health issues in the news by signing up for a Doc Gurley RSS feed by clicking here. Look for future pics and other articles at Doc Gurley - discover the weird, the wacky and the everyday symptoms you want to know about, as well as practical expert tips on staying well. Want to express your inner fan-girl/boy? Become a Doc Gurley fan on Facebook! Want to be on the inside, fast track of health news and tips, as well as Haiti tweets? Get on the Twitter bandwagon and follow Doc Gurley! Also check out Doc Gurley's joyhabit and iwellth twitter feeds - so you can get topic-specific fun, effective, affordable tips on how to nurture your joy and grow your wellth this coming year.